Today, July 6, 2010 is my 3 year wedding anniversary. Three years ago today on a beautiful sunny afternoon in Illinois, I married my high school sweetheart and best friend. In the past three years our marriage has seen more ups and downs than most young marriages I imagine, especially in the last 6 months. The losses we've faced have been difficult on us, but we've faced them together and that's the important part. I could go on and on about our marriage and my love for my husband, but like I said, I don't have the energy today. So I will let someone else say it for me:
“God Gave Me You” By Dave Barnes
I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be
But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
I’ll be the flattered fool
and I need you
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.
To my husband, I love you and Happy Anniversary!
Remembering our beautiful wedding day with some pictures that captured some of my favorite moments...
And now for today's other anniversary...
Six months ago today, our first baby passed away. I know I've been writing every month about losing her and what this journey has been like without her, and every month seemed so significant. Yet today, 6 months, for some reason seems like a more significant marker in time, and that significance pains me more than any one will ever know and could ever imagine. I know my baby is in Heaven and one day I will return to her, but those truths do not take away the earthly pain I feel. I can't believe it's already been half of a year since we said goodbye, since I last held her, touched her, smelled her, stared into her big, round eyes... I can't believe it's been that long already. Some say time heals all wounds ... or at least makes the pain more bearable... and in my experience I can say that is true on some days, but today, 6 months later, my pain seems more intensified than ever. And I could write more about this, but I just don't have the energy. So the simple version, I miss holding her, I just miss her.
Miss and love you Ducky.
So today is another bittersweet day. I am so happy and full of love as I celebrate my 3 year marriage to my husband. Yet my grief over losing Hailey is hitting me anew. It's so hard to celebrate and find happiness amidst the grief, but I'm trying...
That six month mark was the worst for me, as well. I don't know what it is about six months, but that seems to be the worst for a lot of people. What a bittersweet day today must be for you Kristin. I am so sorry! Those pictures of your wedding are beautiful, but the pictures of Hailey are even better :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having a rough time. Six months was so painful for me too, and I don't really know why, I think maybe because like you said, you can't believe that six months has gone by already...
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today.
On another note, Happy Anniversary :)