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I have found that words have been very healing for my grieving soul. The 'written' words that have helped me have come in the form of Bible verses, quotes, poems, songs, books, and articles. Sometimes the words bring comfort, sometimes joy, sometimes a reminder that I need. Sometimes they reflect a cry from my heart and capture my experience of grief better than I can articulate. Most of them I have compiled here on this page.
Online Resources/ Groups for Baby Loss
Forever My Sweet Pea Facebook group for parents who have experienced miscarriage, still birth, infant loss, etc. Sister project of Project Sweet Peas, the national non-profit organization I am a part of that provides care packages and other types of support items for NICU families.
Books
I am an avid reader and am continually looking to find quality,
faith-based books on grief or overcoming trials.
Book #1: I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack W. Hayford
Wonderful, wonderful, Biblical-based resource on the death of a child – through miscarriage, tubal pregnancy, early infant death, or abortion. It’s a short read, but has great depth in meaning and content. I really can’t praise this book enough. If you know anyone who has experienced a loss in any of the ways I have mentioned – even family members of someone who experienced the loss – please recommend this book. It speaks Truth and comfort.
Book #2: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
This book has 31 daily devotionals that cover a range of topics dealing with the loss of a child. Each devotional includes a Bible verse, the author’s personal discussion of a topic (the author lost 4 babies), a prayer, and “steps toward healing” which includes a set of questions and space in the book for you to journal your answers. I’ve done 2 of the devotionals so far and wish I had had this 3 months ago! It really helps you sort through your feelings and address your grief in healthy ways. It also has a section that suggests which devotions to do on certain days (like birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc.).
Book #3: Rain on Me by Holley Gerth
This book is also a devotional style resource. Even though I’m listing this book third, it is one of my favorite books I have come across! I really love it so far! The book has 40 daily devotionals and is similar in style to the devotional listed above. It begins with a Bible verse, includes the author’s personal discussion of a topic, has a section of scripture for you to read on your own, then has a “reflect” section that again includes questions and a place in the book to write answers, and it ends with a “respond” where it begins a prayer that you finish and write. The author experienced the loss of a child; however, the devotional is designed for ANY storm a person might be facing. It is not specific to child loss. So I really recommend this for anyone! Again, I’m only on day two, but it’s awesome! I’m thinking I might start doing some of my devotions from the book on my blog because it’s so great so far!
Book #4: I Will Carry You – The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
For my thoughts on I Will Carry You, you can read these two posts: “‘I Will Carry You’ First Thoughts” and “‘I Will Carry You’ Final Thoughts.”
Book #5: Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen
I’m so thankful a friend told me about this book, which I read for the first time almost a year and a half after losing Hailey. Tear Soup is a beautifully written and illustrated children’s book about grief and loss. While it appears as a children’s book, it’s really perfect for any age, child, teen, young adult, adult, the elderly, and it’s written in such a general but exact way that it fits anyone’s story of loss, whether it’s the loss of a child, parent, family member, pet, or the loss involved with divorce. This book is really one of the most moving books I’ve ever read about the process of grieving. I found myself easily relating to the story and feeling less alone in my own process of grieving. The final pages of the book offers advice for the various types of people experiencing various types of grief as well as lists grief-related resources. This really is a must read for everyone – even if you are not the one experiencing the loss firsthand, but you know someone who is – this book is for you too.
One Minute Promises of Comfort by Steve Miller
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
The Shack by William P. Young
Book #1: I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack W. Hayford
Wonderful, wonderful, Biblical-based resource on the death of a child – through miscarriage, tubal pregnancy, early infant death, or abortion. It’s a short read, but has great depth in meaning and content. I really can’t praise this book enough. If you know anyone who has experienced a loss in any of the ways I have mentioned – even family members of someone who experienced the loss – please recommend this book. It speaks Truth and comfort.
Book #2: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
This book has 31 daily devotionals that cover a range of topics dealing with the loss of a child. Each devotional includes a Bible verse, the author’s personal discussion of a topic (the author lost 4 babies), a prayer, and “steps toward healing” which includes a set of questions and space in the book for you to journal your answers. I’ve done 2 of the devotionals so far and wish I had had this 3 months ago! It really helps you sort through your feelings and address your grief in healthy ways. It also has a section that suggests which devotions to do on certain days (like birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc.).
Book #3: Rain on Me by Holley Gerth
This book is also a devotional style resource. Even though I’m listing this book third, it is one of my favorite books I have come across! I really love it so far! The book has 40 daily devotionals and is similar in style to the devotional listed above. It begins with a Bible verse, includes the author’s personal discussion of a topic, has a section of scripture for you to read on your own, then has a “reflect” section that again includes questions and a place in the book to write answers, and it ends with a “respond” where it begins a prayer that you finish and write. The author experienced the loss of a child; however, the devotional is designed for ANY storm a person might be facing. It is not specific to child loss. So I really recommend this for anyone! Again, I’m only on day two, but it’s awesome! I’m thinking I might start doing some of my devotions from the book on my blog because it’s so great so far!
Book #4: I Will Carry You – The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
For my thoughts on I Will Carry You, you can read these two posts: “‘I Will Carry You’ First Thoughts” and “‘I Will Carry You’ Final Thoughts.”
Book #5: Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen
I’m so thankful a friend told me about this book, which I read for the first time almost a year and a half after losing Hailey. Tear Soup is a beautifully written and illustrated children’s book about grief and loss. While it appears as a children’s book, it’s really perfect for any age, child, teen, young adult, adult, the elderly, and it’s written in such a general but exact way that it fits anyone’s story of loss, whether it’s the loss of a child, parent, family member, pet, or the loss involved with divorce. This book is really one of the most moving books I’ve ever read about the process of grieving. I found myself easily relating to the story and feeling less alone in my own process of grieving. The final pages of the book offers advice for the various types of people experiencing various types of grief as well as lists grief-related resources. This really is a must read for everyone – even if you are not the one experiencing the loss firsthand, but you know someone who is – this book is for you too.
One Minute Promises of Comfort by Steve Miller
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
The Shack by William P. Young
Articles
These articles deal with a
range of topics – ‘general’ grief over the loss of a loved one, choosing
to continue a pregnancy after an adverse diagnosis, inspiring stories
of love and life – some related to the loss of a child, miscarriage, and
some just about the general trials we face in life. All links posted
here are meant to inform, encourage, and uplift. They are in the order
in which I came across them – the oldest listed first, the newest at the
bottom.
Living Through Grief: Spiritual Life on CBN.com Contains facts on grief, God’s viewpoint, managing grief, helping others through grief, and additional resources.
Tough Questions An inspiring personal story written by Shuana Amick. She shares a story of a woman who was told that her baby was going to have Down’s Syndrome, but did not and was healthy at birth. Then she shares her own story of her child who has Down’s Syndrome. I wrote a blog post responding to this article that you can find here.
When Love Wins A pdf file of a pamphlet created by Focus on the Family. An amazing source of information for women and families continuing a pregnancy after an adverse diagnosis. Great testimonies and personal stories, great information on the risks of abortion, doctor’s perspectives, and God’s perspective. Really can’t stress how great of a resource this is!
Coping with Death and Grief A series of articles on Focus on the Family’s website written by Patricia Johnson. Article topics: overview of grief, understanding the grieving process, ‘grief, trauma, or depression?’, helping loved ones grieve, and next steps and additional information. One of the best series of articles I’ve read on grief.
Bare Branches A moving blog post by Annie Down’s posted on (In)Courage. She reveals a moment in her life when she lost everything, felt ‘bare,’ yet found love (in a very cool way!) in the midst of it.
Faith in the Storms An excerpt from Sharon James’ s book Becoming Spiritually Beautiful, the excerpt appeared as a Daily Devotional from Crosswalk.com on March 16, 2010. Sharon candidly shares her experience of grieving the loss of her daughter who she miscarried. *Warning: a touching, tear-jerker, but uplifting and worth the read!
Celebrating Caleb’s First Year An article about a baby born with Trisomy 18 overcoming the odds and celebrating his first birthday. He sure is a cutie!
Bowen’s Heart An article written by ABC News about the baby (named Bowen) of the lead singer of the Christian band Sanctus Real. Bowen was born with a rare heart disease and spent time in the NICU. To learn more about the family’s journey you can visit their blog “Bowen’s Heart.”
Living Through Grief: Spiritual Life on CBN.com Contains facts on grief, God’s viewpoint, managing grief, helping others through grief, and additional resources.
Tough Questions An inspiring personal story written by Shuana Amick. She shares a story of a woman who was told that her baby was going to have Down’s Syndrome, but did not and was healthy at birth. Then she shares her own story of her child who has Down’s Syndrome. I wrote a blog post responding to this article that you can find here.
When Love Wins A pdf file of a pamphlet created by Focus on the Family. An amazing source of information for women and families continuing a pregnancy after an adverse diagnosis. Great testimonies and personal stories, great information on the risks of abortion, doctor’s perspectives, and God’s perspective. Really can’t stress how great of a resource this is!
Coping with Death and Grief A series of articles on Focus on the Family’s website written by Patricia Johnson. Article topics: overview of grief, understanding the grieving process, ‘grief, trauma, or depression?’, helping loved ones grieve, and next steps and additional information. One of the best series of articles I’ve read on grief.
Bare Branches A moving blog post by Annie Down’s posted on (In)Courage. She reveals a moment in her life when she lost everything, felt ‘bare,’ yet found love (in a very cool way!) in the midst of it.
Faith in the Storms An excerpt from Sharon James’ s book Becoming Spiritually Beautiful, the excerpt appeared as a Daily Devotional from Crosswalk.com on March 16, 2010. Sharon candidly shares her experience of grieving the loss of her daughter who she miscarried. *Warning: a touching, tear-jerker, but uplifting and worth the read!
Celebrating Caleb’s First Year An article about a baby born with Trisomy 18 overcoming the odds and celebrating his first birthday. He sure is a cutie!
Bowen’s Heart An article written by ABC News about the baby (named Bowen) of the lead singer of the Christian band Sanctus Real. Bowen was born with a rare heart disease and spent time in the NICU. To learn more about the family’s journey you can visit their blog “Bowen’s Heart.”
Bible Verses
God gives. God takes. God’s name ever be blessed. ~Job 1:21
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy... ~Psalm 30:11
Do not mourn like those that have no hope. ~1 Thes. 4:13
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:34
Cast all your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you. ~Psalms 55:22
Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. ~1 Peter 5:7
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28
…though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith…may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. ~1 Peter 1: 6-9
Be still and know that am I God. ~Psalm 46:10
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5,6
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” ~2 Cor. 12:9
Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ~Ephesians 3:20
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ~1 Cor. 1:27
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:11-13
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.
And it is good for people to submit at an early age
to the yoke of his discipline:
Let them sit alone in silence
beneath the Lord’s demands.
Let them lie face down in the dust,
for there may be hope at last.
Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them
and accept the insults of their enemies.
For no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.
~Lamentations 3:21-33
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy... ~Psalm 30:11
Do not mourn like those that have no hope. ~1 Thes. 4:13
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:34
Cast all your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you. ~Psalms 55:22
Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. ~1 Peter 5:7
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28
…though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith…may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. ~1 Peter 1: 6-9
Be still and know that am I God. ~Psalm 46:10
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5,6
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” ~2 Cor. 12:9
Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ~Ephesians 3:20
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ~1 Cor. 1:27
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:11-13
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.
And it is good for people to submit at an early age
to the yoke of his discipline:
Let them sit alone in silence
beneath the Lord’s demands.
Let them lie face down in the dust,
for there may be hope at last.
Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them
and accept the insults of their enemies.
For no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.
~Lamentations 3:21-33
Prayers
A Prayer of Angie Smith’s:
Lord, Life can be so hard. We are so fragile… all of us one breath away from eternity. We forget until tragedy comes and we are reminded how we are all like flowers of the field. And yet, You love us. You value us. You gave Your life for us. But You also allow us to be broken. How do we make sense of that? Where is the beauty in the shattered pieces? We want You to make something lovely of our lives but more often it is more like a mosaic— beauty out of a million broken pieces— than the flawless work of art we imagine. So, help us, Lord. Give us strength in our brokenness. Let us say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Is there a harder prayer to pray? I do not know of one. Come to us, take our pieces, use them for Your purposes Until we see, as You do, The beauty in the brokenness.
A Prayer of Holley Gerth’s
Lord, Thank you that you are not only the God of sunny skies, you are Lord of the rain in our lives as well. So I come to you on behalf of your daughter whose heart is hurting today. I ask that you would draw her close to you. Shelter her with your love, protect her with your peace, keep her safe in your strength. May every drop that falls bring forth life, growth, and unexpected beauty like spring flowers after storms. Wherever she may be as she reads these words, may she know she is loved and prayed for… I may not know her name but I hope I one day I will. And on this day, you know not only her name but how many hairs are on her head and how many cares are in her heart. So I place your daughter in your loving hands and ask you to bless and strengthen her today. Amen.
A prayer by Sharon Jaynes:
Dear Lord, thank You that for me, as a Christian, I don’t have to stop at mere acceptance when it comes to grief. There is more than acceptance …there is resurrection. You take the broken pieces of our lives and make a beautiful mosaic. Thank You for resurrecting my hopes and dreams and making my life much better than I had ever imagined. I look forward to the day when my earthly body will be resurrected to spend eternity in heaven with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Quotes
“We were created to at least give
an effort to be understood. While our main hope and healing hinges on
the Lord alone, it’s vital we share our journey with others.” Samantha Reed
“Friend, no matter what other
voices have said, your pain is valid. Seasons of pain come. And they
also leave. Don’t miss that last part. Pain is not meant to linger
indefinitely. Often we need a trusted companion to walk us through it.” Samantha Reed
“{Heart check} Honestly, what are
you focusing on more: hurt, pain, circumstances, doubt? -OR- Jesus,
truth, Scripture, love? {“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is
in you.” ~Ps. 39}” Proverbs 31 Ministries Facebook Status
“If
you know someone who has lost a child, and you’re afraid to mention them
because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they
died–you’re not reminding them. They didn’t forget they died. What
you’re reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift.” Elizabeth Edwards
“A moment in our arms, forever in our hearts.” Unknown
“A life may last a moment, but memories can make the moment last forever.” Unknown
“Although we are apart, I will carry you with me forever in my heart.” Unknown
“A powerful life embraces pain, brokenness and weakness and understands that perfection is for Heaven, not Earth.” Mary Southerlanad
“Short is life, long is love.” No Author
“A human life is a story told by God.” Hans Christian Andersen
“Don’t forget in the darkness what you learned in the light.” Joseph Bayly
“Faith never knows where it is being led, But it knows and loves the One who is leading.” Oswald Chambers
“I must think more about [her] and less about myself.” C.S. Lewis
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” M. Kathleen Casey
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” Author Unknown
“God allows wounding in your life so that He can bring healing.” Beth Moore
“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.” John Vance Cheney
“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.” Antoine Rivarol
“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth
“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth
“It is some relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears.” Ovid
“God comforts us in the pressures
we have to endure… Remember that “comfort” does not mean relief
from the pressure. It is not a feather bed to lie on or a cushion to
absorb the blows. It means, literally, “with strength.” God gives to
the person who trusts him strength to bear the pressures. Remember,
too, that it is always given for the added purpose of equipping us to
help others who need comfort.” L. D. Johnson
“I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The
gratitude has finally conquered the loss.” Rita Mae Brown
gratitude has finally conquered the loss.” Rita Mae Brown
“Rest assured that in her dying,
in her flight through darkness toward a new light, she held you
in her arms and carried your closeness with her. And when she arrived at
God, your image was imprinted on her joy-filled soul.” Molly Fumia
“ I loved the [her] with the utmost
love of which my soul is capable; and [she]is taken from me—yet in the
agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure I feel a thousand
times richer than if I had never possessed it.” William Wordsworth* edited
“A person’s a person no matter how small.” Dr. Seuss
“‘Do not mourn like those that have
no hope.’ It astonishes me the way we are invited to apply to
ourselves words to obviously addressed to our betters. What [Paul]
says can comfort only those who love God better than the dead, and
the dead better than themselves. If a mother is mourning not for what
she has lost but for what her dead child has lost, it is a comfort
to believe that the child has not lost the end for which is was
created. And it is a comfort to believe that she herself, in losing
her chief or only natural happiness, has not lost a greater thing,
that she may still hope to ‘glorify God and enjoy Him forever.’ A
comfort to the God-aimed, eternal spirit within her. But not to her
motherhood. The specifically maternal happiness must be written off.
Never, in any place or time, will she have her [daughter] on her
knees, or bath [her], or tell [her] a story, or plan for [her]
future, or see her grandchild.” C.S. Lewis
“As I was driving, I reflected back
over our journey and I realized the kind of peace I meant. It’s not
the pansy, pie-in-the-sky, life-is-perfect peace. No, this is the kind of peace that comes after war.
It’s the hard-won, show-you-my-scars,
didn’t-think-I’d-live-to-tell-about-it, peace. It’s not gentle—it’s
wild, fierce, and I’m not giving it up, not ever, because I paid too
high a price to get it.” Excerpt from Holley Gerth’s blog
“Faith is not based on ignorance, but
rather on what we know to be true about God. It means believing God,
even though our eyes and emotions tell us differently. We will never
have all of our questions answered this side of heaven, but if we
simply strengthen our faith by believing and acting on what little we
do know, we’ll be mountain moving, giant slaying women of beauty and
strength.” Sharon Jaynes
“Fear can hold you prisoner. HOPE can set you free.” – The Shawshank Redemption
Some Favorite Quotes from The Shack by William P. Young:
“What happened three years ago totally changed the melody of his life and it’s a song I can’t wait to play for you” (p.12).
“…the next few days and weeks became an
emotion-numbing blur…followed by a memorial service for Missy with a
small…coffin and an endless sea of faces, all sad as they paraded by, no
one knowing what to say. Sometime during the weeks that followed, Mack
began the slow and painful merging back into everyday life” (p.63).
“He could feel the warmth of tears
beginning to gather behind his eyes, as if they were knocking on the
door of his heart…’It’s okay honey, you can let it all out…I know you’ve
been hurt, and I know you’re angry and confused. So, go ahead and let
it out. It does a soul good to let the waters run once in a while – the
healing waters” (p. 83).
“When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of [God]” (p. 96).
“…pain has a way of clipping our wings
and keeping us from being able to fly…And if left unresolved for very
long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the
first place” (p. 97).
“If a rainbow makes a sound, or a flower as it grows, that was the sound of her laughter” (p. 154).
“It was Jesus playing in the middle of
his children. Without hesitation, Missy leaped into his arms. He swung
her around twice before putting her back on her feet, and then, everyone
laughed before hunting for smooth stones to skip across the surface of
the lake. The voicing of their joy was a symphony to Mack’s ears, and as
he watched, his tears flowed freely” (p. 168).
“The darkness hides the true size of
fears and lies and regrets…The truth is they are more shadow than
reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the
places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are”
(p. 175).
“…you don’t need to have it all figured out. Just be with Me” (p. 178).
“When you start to sink, let Me rescue you” (p. 180).
“She is and will always be your joy. That’s enough purpose for her” (p. 186).
“Emotions are the colors of the soul;
they are spectacular and incredible. When you don’t feel, the world
becomes dull and colorless. Just think how The Great Sadness reduced the range of color in your life down to monotones and flat grays and blacks” (p. 196).
“And Mack? Well he’s a human being that
continues through a process of change, like the rest of us. Only he
welcomes it while I tend to resist it…He embraces even the darker shades
of life as part of some incredibly rich and profound tapestry; crafted
masterfully by invisible hands of love” (p. 247-248).
Songs
These songs are all songs that have helped me through the
grieving process. Some are about grief and loss while others are about
God’s love and comfort and truths we should hold onto when the world
looks dark.
“Heaven is the Face” – Steven Curtis Chapman
Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams..
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You
And we both run into Your arms
“All of Me” Sanctus Real
Unfortunately no lyrics or videos are available for this song yet, but you can listen to it by visiting this page and playing the song at the bottom of the page.
“Lucy” by Skillet
A new Christian song about loss / grief, meant to be written in a vague way as to apply to various types of losses. I changed “Lucy” to “Hailey” in the lyrics below…
Hey Hailey, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I’m in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking
back at me
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today
Hey Hailey, I remembered your birthday
They said it’d bring some closure to say your name
I know I’d do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can’t help me make amends
Here we are
Now you’re in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are
For a brand new start
Living the life that we could’ve had
Me and Hailey walking hand in hand
Me and Hailey never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I’ll see you in another life
In heaven where we never say goodbye
Here we are, now you’re in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
Got to live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today
Me and Hailey walking hand in hand
Me and Hailey never wanna end
Got to live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today
Hey Hailey, I remember your name
“In My Love” Phil Wickham
“Your Hands” – JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
“He Is With You” – Mandisa
“By Your Side” - Tenth Avenue North
“Hold My Heart” - Tenth Avenue North
Beauty Will Rise (album) – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Our God is in Control” – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Faithful” – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Call My Name” – Third Day
“Heaven is the Face” – Steven Curtis Chapman
Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams..
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You
And we both run into Your arms
“All of Me” Sanctus Real
Unfortunately no lyrics or videos are available for this song yet, but you can listen to it by visiting this page and playing the song at the bottom of the page.
“Lucy” by Skillet
A new Christian song about loss / grief, meant to be written in a vague way as to apply to various types of losses. I changed “Lucy” to “Hailey” in the lyrics below…
Hey Hailey, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I’m in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking
back at me
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today
Hey Hailey, I remembered your birthday
They said it’d bring some closure to say your name
I know I’d do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can’t help me make amends
Here we are
Now you’re in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are
For a brand new start
Living the life that we could’ve had
Me and Hailey walking hand in hand
Me and Hailey never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I’ll see you in another life
In heaven where we never say goodbye
Here we are, now you’re in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
Got to live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today
Me and Hailey walking hand in hand
Me and Hailey never wanna end
Got to live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today
Hey Hailey, I remember your name
“In My Love” Phil Wickham
“Your Hands” – JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
“He Is With You” – Mandisa
“By Your Side” - Tenth Avenue North
“Hold My Heart” - Tenth Avenue North
Beauty Will Rise (album) – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Our God is in Control” – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Faithful” – Steven Curtis Chapman
“Call My Name” – Third Day
Poems
“A Child of Mine”
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown
Not Like You by Sheri Hess (*with editing)
I am a mother, though not like you.
You cradle your sweet baby in your arms,
Mine are empty, but I hold him in my heart.
You brush her soft curly hair,
and tie pretty pink bows just right.
A lock of her hair is tucked neatly in a book
You pick daisies and tie them in a chain
to wear around her neck
I cut lilacs and arrange them in a vase to set at her grave.
You look forward to dreams and plans.
I hold on to memories.
I am a mother, though not like you.
The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent, pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing,
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.
No stronger bond can be found,
Mother and child are connected from the start,
There is a string from heart to heart.
Nothing can break this heartstring,
No matter what the future may bring,
A mother loves her child forever,
The heartstrings hold them together.
It is a love of the sweetest kind,
There is nothing more beautiful you will ever find,
And even death cannot break this bond,
It knows no earthly ties, it is here and beyond.
We are connected to our children forever by this love,
Even when God calls them to this home above,
Nothing can change this love, not time, nor words or even
Death bitter sting,
We are connected forever by the “HEARTSTRINGS”
I’ll lend you for a little while
A child of mine, God said
For you to love the while she lives
And mourn for when she’s dead
It may be six or seven years,
Or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call her back
Take care of her for me?
She’ll bring her charms to gladden you
And – should her stay be brief,
You’ll have her lovely memories
As a solace for your grief
I cannot promise she will stay
For all from earth returns
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true
And from all beings that crowd life’s land
I have chosen you
Now, will you give her all your love
Nor think the labor vain.
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again
I fancied that I heard you say
“Dear Lord, Your will be done.
For all the joys Your child will bring
The risk of grief we’ll run
We will shelter her with tenderness
We’ll love her while we may -
And for the happiness we have now know
Forever grateful stay.”
“Heaven’s Prayer”A child of mine, God said
For you to love the while she lives
And mourn for when she’s dead
It may be six or seven years,
Or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call her back
Take care of her for me?
She’ll bring her charms to gladden you
And – should her stay be brief,
You’ll have her lovely memories
As a solace for your grief
I cannot promise she will stay
For all from earth returns
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true
And from all beings that crowd life’s land
I have chosen you
Now, will you give her all your love
Nor think the labor vain.
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again
I fancied that I heard you say
“Dear Lord, Your will be done.
For all the joys Your child will bring
The risk of grief we’ll run
We will shelter her with tenderness
We’ll love her while we may -
And for the happiness we have now know
Forever grateful stay.”
A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
“it’s time again for another birth.”
Said the angels to the Lord above.
“This special child will need much love.”
Her progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments she may not show.
And she’ll require extra care
From the folks she meets way down there.
In many ways she’ll have to fight strong
But with much love she will belong.
So let’s be careful where she’s sent,
We want her life to be content.
Please Lord find parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They may not realize right away
The leading role they’re asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
In Heaven’s very special child.
Part of Me…“it’s time again for another birth.”
Said the angels to the Lord above.
“This special child will need much love.”
Her progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments she may not show.
And she’ll require extra care
From the folks she meets way down there.
In many ways she’ll have to fight strong
But with much love she will belong.
So let’s be careful where she’s sent,
We want her life to be content.
Please Lord find parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They may not realize right away
The leading role they’re asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
In Heaven’s very special child.
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown
Not Like You by Sheri Hess (*with editing)
I am a mother, though not like you.
You cradle your sweet baby in your arms,
Mine are empty, but I hold him in my heart.
You brush her soft curly hair,
and tie pretty pink bows just right.
A lock of her hair is tucked neatly in a book
You pick daisies and tie them in a chain
to wear around her neck
I cut lilacs and arrange them in a vase to set at her grave.
You look forward to dreams and plans.
I hold on to memories.
I am a mother, though not like you.
I Asked God…..
I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome
I asked for patience God placed me in situations
where I was forced to wait
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help
I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities
I received nothing I wanted I received everything I needed
My Prayer Has Been Answered…
My Child’s Name Author Unknown
Go ahead and mention my child,The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent, pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing,
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.
Heartstrings By Judi Walker
A mother’s love knows no bounds,No stronger bond can be found,
Mother and child are connected from the start,
There is a string from heart to heart.
Nothing can break this heartstring,
No matter what the future may bring,
A mother loves her child forever,
The heartstrings hold them together.
It is a love of the sweetest kind,
There is nothing more beautiful you will ever find,
And even death cannot break this bond,
It knows no earthly ties, it is here and beyond.
We are connected to our children forever by this love,
Even when God calls them to this home above,
Nothing can change this love, not time, nor words or even
Death bitter sting,
We are connected forever by the “HEARTSTRINGS”
A Parent’s Tunnel
By: Kate Crawford
Shut your eyes
Now, imagine the happiest moment of your life
You are about to meet your baby
A baby you have waited for
For 9 long months
A baby you planned your future around
Everything is perfect
And here he comes
You cry
You are elated
But, wait . . . the baby . . .
The baby isn’t crying
The nurses are running
You ask quietly,
“What’s wrong?”
No one answers you
You can’t see your baby
There are too many people
The whisk your baby out of the room
You scream
“What is wrong with my baby?”
Finally an answer
One you are unprepared for
“We have to take your baby to the NICU.”
You stop listening
You can’t breathe
You can’t think
You cry, but it’s no longer because you are happy
You haven’t seen the sun
The dark room is all you know
The days run together
You are tired
But you can’t sleep, because you can’t leave your baby’s side
You are alone
Isolated
You haven’t even eaten
You forget
You can’t leave
You haven’t showered
But, you don’t care
He’s hooked to wires, tubes, IV’s and catheters
Everything beeps in alarms
Every beep makes your heart stop
Your baby is sick
Your perfect is gone
Your future, shattered
You sit
You stare
You watch your baby fight to stay alive
The nurses come
The nurses go
The names change
You can’t keep it straight
The diagnosis
You can’t even pronounce
Medicines you’ve never heard of
But the knowledge makes you feel bonded to your baby
You know nothing of the outside world
Your baby is all you know
Your strength
You don’t care about anything
But your baby
This is the life of a parent in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. They have tunnel vision, and at the end is a healthy baby with a happily ever after. Sometimes, they reach the end of that tunnel with their baby, sometimes they never see their happy ever after.
By: Kate Crawford
Shut your eyes
Now, imagine the happiest moment of your life
You are about to meet your baby
A baby you have waited for
For 9 long months
A baby you planned your future around
Everything is perfect
And here he comes
You cry
You are elated
But, wait . . . the baby . . .
The baby isn’t crying
The nurses are running
You ask quietly,
“What’s wrong?”
No one answers you
You can’t see your baby
There are too many people
The whisk your baby out of the room
You scream
“What is wrong with my baby?”
Finally an answer
One you are unprepared for
“We have to take your baby to the NICU.”
You stop listening
You can’t breathe
You can’t think
You cry, but it’s no longer because you are happy
You haven’t seen the sun
The dark room is all you know
The days run together
You are tired
But you can’t sleep, because you can’t leave your baby’s side
You are alone
Isolated
You haven’t even eaten
You forget
You can’t leave
You haven’t showered
But, you don’t care
He’s hooked to wires, tubes, IV’s and catheters
Everything beeps in alarms
Every beep makes your heart stop
Your baby is sick
Your perfect is gone
Your future, shattered
You sit
You stare
You watch your baby fight to stay alive
The nurses come
The nurses go
The names change
You can’t keep it straight
The diagnosis
You can’t even pronounce
Medicines you’ve never heard of
But the knowledge makes you feel bonded to your baby
You know nothing of the outside world
Your baby is all you know
Your strength
You don’t care about anything
But your baby
This is the life of a parent in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. They have tunnel vision, and at the end is a healthy baby with a happily ever after. Sometimes, they reach the end of that tunnel with their baby, sometimes they never see their happy ever after.
Tired Posted by Franchesca Cox
Sometimes I am tired…
of being the mother to a dead child
of not knowing who she was
of knowing I did not get to blissfully enjoy my pregnancy with her
of the memories being painful
of her memory fading
of the sunshine being bittersweet
of hurting when I daily realize the things I’ll never get to experience with her
of being uncomfortable around infant baby girls
of feeling like I have moved on too quickly
of replaying the day she died as if it will change anything
of searching for answers when there are none
of having a dead child instead of a happy, healthy baby girl
of trying to remember her with temporal things that will never replace her
of crying
of feeling like my efforts to remember her short life will never do her justice
of realizing the increasing permanence of this loss
of being sad when I am alone and left to my thoughts
of not being a normal mother
of feeling like God could have saved her
of being a mother with no baby to carry
of feeling guilt over her death
of baby things not being happy things
of this reality that has been handed to me
Sometimes I am tired…
of being the mother to a dead child
of not knowing who she was
of knowing I did not get to blissfully enjoy my pregnancy with her
of the memories being painful
of her memory fading
of the sunshine being bittersweet
of hurting when I daily realize the things I’ll never get to experience with her
of being uncomfortable around infant baby girls
of feeling like I have moved on too quickly
of replaying the day she died as if it will change anything
of searching for answers when there are none
of having a dead child instead of a happy, healthy baby girl
of trying to remember her with temporal things that will never replace her
of crying
of feeling like my efforts to remember her short life will never do her justice
of realizing the increasing permanence of this loss
of being sad when I am alone and left to my thoughts
of not being a normal mother
of feeling like God could have saved her
of being a mother with no baby to carry
of feeling guilt over her death
of baby things not being happy things
of this reality that has been handed to me
of holding on to Heaven’s hope, but then I realize that’s all I have left
sometimes I am just tired.
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