Faith Dare Friday, #2

(This week's FAITHdare, #2, is at the bottom of this post).

FAITHdare #1 "TIME" - My Reflections:

This past week's dare was tithing your time. Giving 10% of your time to God each day, which means spending 2.4 hours working on your relationship with God.

I confess that I pretty much failed at this dare, but I am so glad I took it. It made me so much more conscious of how much time I was actually giving to God and what kind of quality that time actually was. The dare also made me learn some really important lessons about my current walk with God. Here is what I learned...

I am the biggest distraction that gets in the way of my time with God. I am selfish with my time; 'my' things are more important or 'fun.' I learned I have an awful habit of saying, "I'll meet with you later God. I can't right now. I'm too busy. I have [x] to do." I had my routine and unfortunately devoting quality, uninterrupted time with God was not a part of it. I couldn't spend time with him in the mornings because that's when I exercise and get ready for the day. (Even though some might think I have all the free time in the world and giving God my time should be easy for me, but I have my own routine and things that keep me busy.) Then I like to go through my usual routines of cleaning up the house, taking care of the dishes, watering the plants, making lunch, checking email, etc. I always think in my mind I will spend time with God once I'm ready to start my day. But of course the way my routine works out I get so wrapped up in my 'stuff' and new things pop up that need to be taken care of and distract me from making that commitment.  By the time I have time to give to God, my mind and body are tired from the stresses and activities of the day that I say, "I'm in no shape to give myself to you now God. I need to rest and [insert activity here - often times it's the desire to watch a TV show]." Which is funny in itself because nothing can rest my soul like God. So it seems that I tell God I'm going to make an appointment with him, and I always stand him up. I should also mention that I learned that any time I'm doing an activity that could grow my relationship with God like my online devotional or praying or anything else,  my attempts are always rushed and halfhearted. I haven't been looking to truly take time and reap the benefits.

I will admit, the idea of spending over 2 hours completely devoted to growing in my relationship with God was daunting . If I had slots of 15 or 30 minutes to give to him, I wouldn't or I wouldn't count it because I told myself it wouldn't be the quality or the quantity of the time I need. However, I quickly learned that giving something is better than nothing, and the more I gave, the easier it became to give more.

So I miserably failed this dare on day one, and over the weekend I gave a little of my time here or there to God by spending my usual time in prayer at night (which is weak I know), doing my devotional with my husband, and reading my book about being a strong Christian woman with a soft heart, which all means I failed on days two and three as well. And did I open my Bible once? I can't even remember so that probably means no. The week began, and I c0ntinued to stand up God even though I had the intentions of meeting with him. I tried here and there. But I was giving God my leftovers and still completely missing the point of the faith dare.

The turning, or breaking, point was the break down I had this week. It opened my eyes to the fact that I'd been withholding my heart from God as I struggled with not feeling his love and living in disappointment, holding grudges against others and God, and trying to do everything by myself. I learned I really hadn't wanted to spend time with him, and that is exactly why I was struggling. I wonder if I will ever realize that walking away from God is the last thing I should do when I'm in pain or having problems. So my break down made me forgive in my heart the grudges I'd been holding, to seek forgiveness for my own sinful behavior toward God and others, and made me give my heart back over to God. Once I realized all of that my thirst for God's word and desire to spend time with him increased, but my little heart was still weary and not fully surrendering to my need for God.

But on Wednesday I went all in and took the dare... and did it! Now I didn't time myself, but I probably reached my goal of 10%. Here's what I did:

It took a little forcing, but I turned off the TV, closed the laptop, got everything ready, and sat myself down at the kitchen table with a glass of sweet tea and said, "I'm here God, and I'm all yours."

I spent time reading my online devotional and actually got out a journal and a pen and wrote out my answers to the questions it asked me. (Remember how I said that I need to slow down? Well reflecting and handwriting my thoughts really helped.) Then I read a chapter in my book Strong Women, Soft Hearts , and, again, sat down with my journal and hand-wrote my answers to the questions at the end of the chapter. The benefits of slowing down and taking time where immediate. I continued by spending time in God's word. I decided for the FAITHdare that I would read the book of Isaiah. It's a long one, one I've never read, and one whose verses have been appearing over and over to me lately. So I began to read - oh and I should mention that this time I actually made myself close my eyes and say a complete prayer for God to prepare my heart, give me wisdom to understand what I read, and help me hear what he is speaking to me through his words - something I had gotten very bad at doing. Also, in the past for some reason I've always felt limited to reading a chapter a day - why? I wondered. Who says you can't read more? So I read, reading to understand not reading just to do it, and read and read. I read seven chapters, and then I wrote about them in my journal. And last but certainly not least, I also spent some more time reading the various Christian blogs I like.

That is how I completed started FAITHdare #1. Wednesday was a turning point. Yes, I confess, this FAITHdare was difficult to start, but once I sat down and just did it, it's so much easier. Yesterday and today I believe I have fulfilled the FAITHdare, but again, I stopped timing myself because if I focus on the time I'm focusing on the wrong thing. For the most part I actually am setting aside one chunk of my day for most of the learning and growing, but that doesn't limit me to doing those kinds of faith growing activities in the morning and at night. I am definitely going to be continuing this dare. I already feel closer to God, have been reminded of many lessons and promises, have learned more about God's character, the history of Christianity, and who I am designed to be in God's eyes. Not to mention that with all of this has come the added gifts of peace, comfort, and wisdom. No this has not been a cure all or erased all of my struggles, but it made me allow myself to be helped through them with God. Instead of running from him, I look forward to running to him during this 10% of my day I give only to him. I pray I can continue this dare and continue to be successful at it.

So FAITHdare #1 and week one are over ... let's see what's next!

FAITHdare #2 Dreaming His Dreams (Click)

1) Click HERE.  Beside the title, "What the Gospel Demands," click "Notes" and print the handout.  Then cuddle up with your Bible, the handout, and a pen and watch the video below in its entirety...TWICE...

2) Memorize Matthew 10. Yes, I said memorize.  Now, before you freak out on me, let me finish. Choose for yourself how you will divide it up.  Maybe you work on a verse a day for a little more than a month.  Maybe you do two verses a day.  It doesn't matter, just so you MEMORIZE IT... In fact, this is His commission to the disciples (to YOU and ME), His final instructions before sending them out into the world. These are the instructions you are giving up everything to follow...so read the fine print, and put it into your heart.  Remember, His loves are your loves...His dreams are your dreams.  You are not above ANY of His words.

Don't forget - you can take the dares with me! I'd love it if you would! And if you'd share about your experiences with me!