My Face of Loss

A few days ago I discovered a wonderful organization called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. Their purpose is "putting a face on on miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss." It is so awesome and so needed. I think it's wonderful that they are helping to put a face on something that has affected so many women and families, something that is often seen as a taboo subject, something that much of society likes to ignore and pretend doesn't exist because it's painful to acknowledge...

In my experience, no one talks about their miscarriages or the losses of their babies. Only after losing Hailey have women, family and friends, bravely stepped out of the shadows and confided in me about their losses.

Before I became the face of infant loss, a part of me (that I'm ashamed to admit) believed that miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss only happened to people who are older, unhealthy, had a family history of problems, had problems conceiving, and so on. But my loss, and as I have entered the community of babylost mothers and have encountered others who have faced the loss of a baby, has made me aware that miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss can and do happen to anyone - even to people who are young, healthy, have no history of any problems, and have no reason to expect it, like us.

I know that death is difficult. I know that the death of a baby is perhaps the most difficult of losses. I know that it's hard to talk about. I know that people don't know what to say. I know that it's painful. I know it can be awkward. I know it causes people to feel helpless. I know people handle grief differently. It seems that people, both who have personally experienced the loss and people who have witnessed someone else going through a loss, sometimes would much rather give a brief acknowledgment of a loss and then sweep it under the carpet and continue on with life. They ignore. Forget. Bury somewhere deep inside. Because it's 'easier.' Grief and tragedy are uncomfortable, difficult. It's more comfortable to be happy, pretend like nothing happened, it's no big deal, try to forget or lock it in a corner of your mind, and move on.

And I'm not judging anyone who has done this because, like I already said, people handle grief and tragedies differently. But, I do want to share my personal feelings on the subject. I do believe that every life, whether 4 weeks gestation or 36 days old, deserves to be remembered, honored, shared about, and not kept hidden inside of someone. I don't believe someone can experience healing until they face the pain. I know first hand enormous difficulty involved in facing the pain. It's hard. It takes courage. It can't be done alone.

So in an attempt to overcome the stigma and misconceptions associated with the loss of a baby, I shared Hailey's story with Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. They posted the story yesterday, Wednesday, Sept. 15. You can see our story and my 'face of loss' featured on their website here.

What I love most about their organization is the Faces of Hope part where they feature stories of parents who have turned their grief into something positive and look at how someone found something good through their loss.  Stories of Hope are shared on Thursdays. I will let you know when my story of hope gets posted (it should be in a few weeks).

It's my prayer and hope by sharing my face of loss to help remind other women they aren't alone and to break the chains of silence on infant loss so that others can find healing and hope in their own unique grief journeys. But really, I'm most excited to share my story of hope to encourage, inspire, uplift, and bring hope to others...

**Thank you for what you do Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, and thank you for sharing my story.**

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Coincidentally (or not?), one of the blogs I subscribe to posted a post today that touches a little on this broad topic of how we tend to look away from suffering instead of looking it face on. It's a post called "Looking Suffering In The Face" by Max Lucado.