If you were to ask me what God's been teaching me about lately, I'd tell you He's been teaching me about encouragement.
"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13
God has been speaking to me in so many different ways about encouragement over the past week or so, and, like, always it takes me awhile to realize, "Oh. Is that you God? Are you trying to tell me something again? Oh, okay. After the 100th time, I think I got it now!" Sheesh...anyway...
As I've mentioned over and over again, a few weeks ago I hit a really low point. It was close to the 2nd most difficult time of my life after losing Hailey and my dad in January. There were a lot of issues in my life adding up, making a huge mountain before me, and life was just overwhelming.
One of the areas I'd been experiencing difficulty with is not something that occurred recently but is something I've been struggling with over the past year, and heck my whole life if I really want to get real - and that is - relationships.
Long story short, during the time when I was feeling really depressed about losing Hailey and other 'stuff," I was feeling very discouraged about my relationships. I was feeling close to alone and forgotten even though I really wasn't, but it's easy to feel that way since I've moved 1000 miles away from friends and family (sure I've made friends here in Alabama, but they come and go because that's life in the military) - and Satan sure likes to attack me in this area. I was longing to feel the support and encouragement of family and friends. Sure I have family and friends who love me and support me, but I wasn't feeling their 'presence' as much as I wanted, being away from them was making it all the more difficult, and to be honest I was having high expectations of what I thought they should be doing and feeling let down. So I guess you could say I was desperately wanting the relationships in my life to be better and wanting new, quality, lasting relationships to come into my life.
Through the help of my husband and God's gentle reminders, I learned some important lessons from that particular struggle of mine.
Even though I'm experiencing a very difficult period of my life with the loss of my baby and my dad, and it is okay for me to be needing support and encouragement from my friends and family instead of feeling forgotten, but that doesn't mean I can expect to have relationships where I'm taking and not giving. I had almost come to believe that I was the only one giving and felt I deserved to take a 'time out' and just sit there and take from my relationships. I was completely "me" focused, and it was leaving me with just "me," feeling lonely.
Instead of wanting to be encouraged by others, why didn't I just stop focusing on myself and focus on what I can do and how I can encourage others. I try, but I need to be more encouraging and supportive in my relationships. Everyone needs encouragement and support no matter what they're going through, big or small, and I am not the only one who needs those things. I can give those things to the people in my life. In fact, God calls me to do it:
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up" 1 Thess. 5:11
Furthermore, I've again been reminded of the power of prayer. (Why do I ever doubt it?) If I'm dissatisfied with my relationships or wanting new friendships, why don't I pray instead of complain?
Being an Army wife makes friendships hard, especially for an introvert like myself. It's hard to maintain long distance relationships with old friends. Not to mention I continually have to seek out opportunities for new relationships, continually have to invest in people, and continually have to learn how to maintain the new friendships I've made as we all move to different states and countries. It's really difficult and feeling alone is easy to do when you are always moving to new places, but all that means is that I have to try harder.
So anyway, first of all , my perspective changed regarding the status of my current relationships and that has made me feel much more content, and I am really working on serving and encouraging the people in my life. I love feeling encouraged, and I love being able to encourage others. I recently received a set of Dayspring cards from an (in)courage giveaway in honor of September 12th, which is apparently a national day of encouragement. So I am excited to mail a few of those out, but more importantly, I am excited as I go about my day thinking of who I can encourage and how - not just on September 12th, but every day.
In addition to changing my perspective, I prayed and prayed over my current relationships and prayed for future relationships. And as he always does with his perfect time, God revealed himself to me and answered my prayers by blessing me with encouragement and new friendships. Here's how...
The week I began feeling very down about losing Hailey and feeling like no one cared anymore, I received a card and a letter in the mail from two college Bible study friends. They each had written me heartfelt notes with prayers and scripture expressing their love and care for me. I nearly cried while reading them feeling the awesomeness of God's timing and love through these ladies. And I actually laughed at one point when one of my friend's was apologizing that these notes weren't sent any sooner to me - little did they know these notes came at the exact time when I needed them to come. Their encouragement felt AMAZING.
Then on the Sunday night of one of my most difficult weekend's ever for me emotionally (literally not even 24 hrs after I began praying specifically over my friendships), I received a Facebook message from a new friend I met here at Ft. Rucker. She had noticed on my Facebook or blog that I was feeling a bit down and invited me out to lunch the next day. She told me that she'd read that I love to talk about Hailey and my dad, and that she'd love it if I'd share about them with her. Another answered prayer, right when I needed it. I thank her for her heart and taking the time to invest in someone she recently met.
And as if that's not enough, I received another encouraging and uplifting message from another old college friend recently. She too apologized for her timing as she had just learned of what happened with Hailey. But she had such caring, kind, encouraging words and prayers for me. For me, it was perfect timing again as it was the day after what would have been Hailey's 9 month birthday and as I'm continuing on during this difficult season of life.
And as if that's not enough, I had started to feel a little discouraged about how fundraising and donations and support were going for Hailey's Hope, and then I received 2 messages on Hailey's 9 month birthday from people in my life who were messaging me about supporting and donating to Hailey's Hope. How awesome is that?
I can't say it enough - every one of those moments were just AMAZING and AWESOME and clearly God at work. And I can't begin to describe what all of these encouraging words have meant to me... It's truly been heartwarming and uplifting.
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24
Thank you for sharing during this most difficult time. May He continue to show you His love in many surprising ways at just the right time. Patsy from HeARTworks
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