For starters, Josh and I had a busy but enjoyable 3 day weekend. On Saturday Josh, Opie (our dog), and I had a family day full of quality time together. We started out the morning by going to the Buddy Walk in support of Team Freddie (which I mentioned in my last post). It felt good to support Freddie and others with Trisomy 21. And for me personally, I also did it in memory of Hailey, because without her having Trisomy 18, which just as easily could have been 21, I'm not sure we would have ever gone on such a walk. We brought Opie with us on the walk and aside from the kids he seemed to be the hit of the day. So many little kids pointed at him, walked up to him, and one little girl was simply in love with him giving him hugs around the neck and sticking her face in front of his so he would lick her all over. (That really tugged at our heartstrings making us think of how Hailey would have been doing the same if she were with us).
After we finished the walk we went pumpkin picking, yes all three of us. Even I was surprised they let Opie go on the hayride with everyone. It was probably a funny sight but everyone seemed to like him. He even got mooed at by a cow while we were out in the field picking pumpkins.
Saturday was really good day for me, for us. I had a lot fun, and we made a lot of memories. However, like every day, my thoughts often drifted to Hailey... trying to imagine what it would have been like with her here. Like how I should have been taking pictures of her with the big, orange pumpkins with Opie instead of just Opie. As I reflected on the end of the day, thinking of all the families we saw, I realized how much I / we treat Opie like our child. Not only did he go with us everywhere that day, but we, acting as not just his owners but his parents, stopped by Petsmart and bought him his own doggy seat belt to keep him safe on car rides. We even tried on some costumes for him. Obviously he was too large for the large size cow costume.
A part of me can't help but think that everything we did that day with Opie should have been done with Hailey... So as much fun as I had on Saturday and over the weekend, I can't help but miss that Hailey wasn't with us for it all...
(But I'm thankful I / we have Opie. He truly is been my best friend and has helped me get through a lot of things. I always mean to write a post about him and him and Hailey like the one I wrote months ago that got deleted when my Internet went down... Some day I'll write it so everyone can know just how important and special Opie is to us.)
Anyway, over the weekend I also spent a lot of time crafting. I'm in the process of creating 10 memory boxes that will be donated to families in the NICUs at The Children's Hospital with terminally ill babies or those who have lost babies while in the NICUs. As much as I hate that they're needed because it means a baby has passed away and a family has lost their child, I really am happy to be able to make and give them these in hopes that will bring comfort to someone. We're going to donate a total of 10 boxes (5 boys, 5 girls), and they're taking a lot of time to make, but here's a sneak peek at what I'm working on:
Yesterday I received my first phone call to sub! The teacher was sick and was trying to make it through the day, but she decided it best if she went home early. So I subbed for her 10th grade English classes from 9:30a to 3:10p. The day was super easy and went well. The hard part was maintaining a quiet working environment and classroom management without knowing the seating charts and names, but it really did go extremely smoothly - and thankfully no students tried to pull anything on me!
After yesterday I've come to decide a few things. One, I do miss being in the classroom, feeling productive in that way, and making some money. Two, I do not miss all the responsibilities that come with full time teaching like grading papers, and I am very thankful I didn't have to go home yesterday to lesson plan or grade papers. Three, I do not foresee or want a full time teaching position any time in the near future (even if it were possible), and I like the flexibility of subbing. Four, I am really thankful to be able to do what I am with my life right now. It made me realize how much I love being able to have a project with Project Sweet Peas and how important it is to me. I've always wanted to do something that makes a difference in people's lives and I always thought that would be through teaching, but I'm really seeing more and more that what I'm doing with Hailey's Hope is doing just that and really is meaningful and important.
This Friday and Saturday will be spent remembering Hailey and all the babies lost due to miscarriage, still birth, and infant loss (and their families). Friday, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I'm releasing almost 80 balloons on behalf of the names of babies lost submitted to Hailey's Hope with Project Sweet Peas. I'm really looking forward to remembering all of these babies who are all so deeply loved and missed in this way. It should be a pretty amazing sight seeing all of those balloons float off into the sunset sky.
On Saturday Josh and I are going to a "Walk to Remember" for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance - another way for Josh and I take some time and do something special in remembrance of our daughter. I'm most looking forward to releasing a butterfly for Hailey ... because of my thing with butterflies and her... and because I wanted to do a butterfly release fundraiser for Hailey's Hope on the one year anniversary of her passing, but because of the temperatures in January, it would be too cold to release them... so I'm excited to at least have this opportunity.
And of course, there will be blog posts to come about these events.
We'll all be remembering tomorrow with you.
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