Blessings and Answered Prayers

Well this week has been the polar opposite of last week. Last week I hit a lot of lows, and this week I've hit a lot of highs.

For starters, Hailey's Hope has been amazing for me. It's another thing that God is using to bring healing to my broken heart. As many of you know, at one point my mind was spending most of its time worry about the future. Most of those "future" thoughts included questions and worries about what I was going to do with my life now that I can no longer be the stay-at-home mom I had planned on being. I knew I wasn't ready to go back to doing what I used to do and what I love, which is teaching (and practically speaking when we're only going to be in Alabama for another year, starting a full time position regardless of the situation I'm in isn't ideal). I also didn't know if I was even ready to have a part time job of subbing or something else. Thankfully, the Army provides well for us, and I do not have to work unless I want to, and Josh supports that.

But still... If you know me, by nature I keep myself busy and working and doing so makes me feel like I have a purpose and feel valued. I have kept a busy lifestyle since I was at least 16 years old. In addition to being a full time student in both high school and college, I played sports, was always involved in at least one other activity - whether it was the National Honor Society or tutoring students after school, and I always held a part time job. My days were often 12hrs or longer only to come home to eat, study, and go to sleep. Even once I graduated from college, I continued the busy lifestyle that is so common for people to have these days. I worked full time, helped coach students for speech team before or after school, took graduate classes, and volunteered during my summers off.

Since Hailey passed away, this is the first time in over 10 years that I have found myself with so much "free" time. Now please don't get a picture of me laying on the couch in my pj's all day eating bon bons... Even though I don't have a job, I keep myself busy with things I always wished I had time for... reading, writing/blogging, scrapbooking, cooking, and exercising (lots of exercising, although apparently I need more...but that's another post), and I've been involved with a Bible study and volunteering with a church's youth group. So I guess I am an active housewife...but I'm still not the stay-at-home mom I wanted to be.

And my mind and heart have wrestled with where God wanted me to be now that my plans for my future were thrown out the window. I wanted God to use my life however he wanted to. Have you ever given yourself to God like that? Take me, use me God! ... It's kind of scary  not gonna lie... But I wanted to fulfill God's purpose for my life, and I wanted him to tell me what I should be doing in the next year we're living in Alabama... and tell me NOW God... but of course... God doesn't work according to our demands. God tells me to be be still and wait on him. You know, that whole patience thing we're not so good at.

Well, awhile back I felt God began to answer my prayers through my blog - I felt like he wanted me to do it...but I knew there had to be more... Now, through this project I've started, Hailey's Hope, I feel that God is giving me another answer to my question of what he wants me to do. Don't you love when God answers prayers - and you know it! :) I do!

Since I do not have any part time or full time work commitments, I have a lot of time that God has given me that I can put toward making Hailey's Hope successful. I feel like all of this free time that I have, that I was sort of uncomfortable and feeling guilty about having, was given to me by God so that I would be able to devote myself to this project, that I believe is His. So far, even though this project is technically 3 days old, I am loving what I am doing. I love that it provides a way for me to share Hailey's, and my, stories of hope... stories that an outsider (and me at times) might see as hopeless... but we have a hope, and I love that this project will allow me to share that hope. I love that this project is helping to heal me, but that it is not just for me... I really love that it will help babies who are in NICUs and their families. I love that Hailey's Hope provides a way to give hope to and share God's love with those who are in need of it. I love that I can give something to others.

So first blessing and answered prayer = Hailey's Hope!

Here are the rest of my blessings and answered prayers...

1. I personally have seen Project Sweet Pea climb from 19th place to 11th place in the Pepsi Refresh Project and it has been AWESOME!

And of course, last week I had been feeling a lack of support...this week I am overwhelmed with support...

2. The parents of Project Sweet Pea have amazing stories and have been a tremendous source of support and encouragement in my life and with Hailey's Hope.

3. Hailey's Hope's Facebook page reached 100 fans in only 2 days!

4. I have been somewhat worried/nervous about how I would be able to make Hailey's Hope successful and how to encourage others to give to our project, so of course I prayed about it (and am continuing to do so)... and so the first items to be donated to Hailey's Hope are accredited to nothing other than God being at work and weaving together my life with the life of another Christian woman who also experienced the loss of a child, and God answering prayers. Here is an excerpt from the note I wrote on Hailey's Hope's Facebook page:

As I began thinking and praying about Hailey's Hope, how to make it successful, what kind of items we could have donated to our begs, how I can encourage people to give donations, etc. A thought popped into my head about how wonderful it would be to include a book like Rain on Me in our project's gift bags. Having a baby in a NICU surely qualifies as a 'storm' in life, and I wished I had had a book like this to read while I was in the hospital with Hailey. It is so comforting and healing.

I decided, why not ask the author if she would consider donating some of her books to Hailey's Hope? Yesterday I emailed the author and told her a bit about Hailey, Hailey's Hope, how her book has affected me, and asked her if she would consider donating any copies to our project or offering me a discount if I purchase in bulk...

Well to my surprise she emailed me back within a couple of hours and not only offered to give copies of her book to Hailey's Hope, but told me to look through DaySpring's online store and make a list of things I could include in our bags (if you're not familiar with DaySpring it's like a Christian Hallmark company), and since she works for DaySpring she is going to see what additional items can be donated to us!!

"Ask and it will be given to you." Matthew 7:7