Some things I'm remembering about Hailey today...

Well I just finished watching some of our home videos of Hailey... I hadn't watched them since her memorial service. Seeing her and hearing her (little coos and little cries) was unbelievably refreshing and comforting (I didn't even cry!). The fear of forgetting her is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. Thankfully, having the videos always me to remember her vividly.

So like I mentioned in the earlier post today, today I am choosing to remember Hailey and celebrate all that she was while she was with us.

I'm remembering...
...her tiny long fingers
...the feeling of her itty bitty hand wrapped around my finger
...her soft, fine hair
...the feeling of her mouth clench down on my finger as she sucked it
...her little leggies that were long and skinny
...giving her little legs and arms massages ... or as I called them 'army massages' to which Josh liked to reply 'what's an army massage and how's it different than a navy massage?'
...her tiny almost non-existent nails
...how she scrunched her face and squinted from the sunlight and camera flashes
...the feeling of my hand cradling her little tush
...how her eyes could become big and round and look all around as she took a bottle
...and...
...how the day I gave birth to her my heart doubled in size and I instantly fell in love with her
...how excited and proud I was of her doing better with her bottle every day
...how strong, courageous, and how much of a fighter she was despite all of her problems
...how much she made me laugh whenever she'd belch or stick out her tongue
...and a million other things...

I know some people think newborns like Hailey can't do much - they eat, sleep, poop - they can't really smile, they can't laugh, they can't crawl or walk, they can't talk...they don't have personalities... but Hailey showed me that's not true. Even in the first hours and days of her life, she had the funniest, bright personality and spirit - thankfully captured in a few photos (like the one on the left of this blog). She was both a goof ball and a gentle, peaceful old soul. She often looked like she was wise and deep in thought. I'm confident she smiled numerous times. And she absolutely glowed with God's love.