My sweet lullabies

This morning I need to write a post that is more 'happy' for myself for I fear that today could be tough day - just getting one of those feelings... so here it goes...this is another one of those very personal memories that I have only shared with my husband... but it's one of my happiest and don't want to keep it to myself.

My favorite moments spent with Hailey occurred when I was alone with her. When it was just me and her. Mom and daughter. In these moments I would be standing up or sitting in my glider. I would hold her close to me. And I would begin rocking her gently. I loved feeling the weight of her in my arms. In these moments I found tremendous joy, and in these memories I continue to find joy.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I am not the singing type. I cannot carry a tune what-so-ever. I am not tone-deaf - I can HEAR that I don't sound good. So I never sing in front of anyone. And I always wondered to  myself - how can I be a good mom when I can't sing? All moms sing to their babies - what am I going to do? Hailey will hate my voice and I will not sing in front of others because that would just be embarrassing. There would be nothing soothing about my singing!

But to my own astonishment, I would sing to Hailey. Never thought I would before I had her, but when I had her in my arms, the singing felt natural. I had to sing to her.

So when it was just the two of us, I would sing to her softly. Rocking and singing. My favorite times.

I think she liked it. I know she liked it. She would either be peacefully asleep or be looking up at me with her beautiful, giant eyes. Like she was in awe of me. I loved it. I soaked it up.

What would I sing her? Not the typical lullabies - I tried many but could never remember all of the words, haha, well after all I never cared to learn them because I never thought I'd sing them! So I would sing her anything from Christmas songs to worship songs (I loved singing "Mighty to Save" - I think Hailey enjoyed it too). Many times I would make up silly songs and sing them to her.

My all time favorite song to sing to her that I think was also her favorite song to be sung - because it also happened to have a 90% success rate with soothing her.... are you ready?

"Glow little glow worm, glimmer glimmer, I see your eyes they shimmer, shimmer..."

Pretty silly right? You might be wondering where those lyrics came from...why would I think to sing her that? Was I watching that Full House episode where Uncle Jesse sings it? No...

Hailey reminded me of one of those glow worm toys - do you know what I'm talking about?  She especially reminded me of one when she was swaddled tightly and had a little hat on her head - with her round eyes and round face - she looked like a little glow worm and then the lyrics popped into my head. For some reason, Hailey seemed to love when I sang that to her. Honestly, she would be fussing and crying and I would be there holding her, rocking, and I would start singing that to her and she would stop and just look at me wide eyed like she was studying my face and my voice.

I LOVED IT.