Hold On To Hope

It's funny how since naming Hailey's project with Project Sweet Peas, Hailey's Hope, how messages of hope seem to be all around me these days. From God speaking it to me in His word to online articles to topics in my devotionals to songs I hear.

Initially when naming Hailey's project I chose "hope" because it had a nice ring to it with the alliteration with the "h's" and all and because who doesn't need hope - especially when their baby is in critical condition, in intensive care in a hospital potentially fighting for his/her life? Someone might read "Hailey's Hope" and be misled to think oh my baby has the hope of leaving the NICU and surviving like this baby Hailey... But no, that's not Hailey's hope. As I thought about the name and if it was really the right one for her / our project because of this, I began to think more deeply about what her hope was, would be, and what it is to us. And sure enough, it's turned out to be the perfect name of her project as it reflects so much of her life and what's come out of her life.

Her hope wasn't to be cured of her Trisomy 18. Her hope wasn't to survive and live a normal life. Her hope was that God would take care of her according to His plans. And he did. Her hope was that one day God would call her home to be with Him in a place where she wouldn't be sick or feel any pain or suffering or be limited in anyway - a place where she could be truly at peace and be happy and healthy. And he did. Our hope, in addition to these hopes, as I've mentioned numerous times before, is that we will see Hailey again one day and until then God will remain with us and help us through this difficult journey without her. So what is Hailey's hope? To put it simply it is the same as our hope and the hope of many - God, salvation, eternal life through Jesus.

Without hope, life is dark, hard, nearly impossible. I experienced a time of hopelessness after losing Hailey. When I looked to the future it was shaded gray with no joy and nothing good. And when hope is lost I learned that fear moves in to take its place. And there was a time that I wrote about when fear nearly crippled me - particularly the fear of having another baby (you can read about it here).

I read a quote the other day in my devotional which phrased what I have experienced (and written about in my post "From Fear to Freedom") so perfectly:

"Fear can hold you prisoner. HOPE can set you free." - from The Shawshank Redemption

A life without hope is a life of fear incapable of joy and love and what life is that? And coincidentally, or perhaps not, the topic of this week's devotionals that Josh and I read together is called "Hold On To Hope." I just had to share this part of what we read last night:

Can any of us live without hope? I think not. Without hope, we have no reason to get out of bed in the morning...no motivation to complete our daily tasks at work, home, church... no desire to take on the sometimes dizzying array of problems in our world. A life without hope is a life without meaning.

Yet as Christians we always have hope. In Jesus Christ, we have a holy protector, friend, confidante, and guide. We have a reserved seat in heaven that promises unimaginable joy. This is what gives us endurance, patience, and motativation to bring glory to our Creator during this imperfect existence.... John tells us, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life" (John 3:36). Can you imagine a greater source of hope?

-Night Light: A Devotional for Couples by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

So sources and reminders of hope surround me lately, and it's funny how much the name of our Project Sweet Peas project is affecting me. I think I can hear God's message to me loud and clear: hold on to hope.

I will.

P.S. I just have to share this song that was playing while I wrote this - the message of holding on to hope is written in between the lyrics of this song: Before The Morning. Do you dare to believe?