Yesterday Isaac turned 3 months old. Here is my little blurb of an update about him this past month (pardon any typos - wrote it on my phone and don't have much time to correct :P )
This month Isaac is growing into a little man. He has mastered what I call the Kung Fu baby grip. He's been not only reaching for toys and objects but he's holding on to them, pulling them toward his mouth, and chewing them. Also Speaking of his mouth he can't keep his hands out of it! He loves sucking and chewing on his thumbs, fingers, and whole fists. I'm wondering if he's teething as he is also producing massive amounts of drool comparable to his K9 companion. He's getting better at tummy time but still needs lots of work and practice. He enjoys it when I lay on my back and put him with his tummy to my shins and I lift him horizontally in the air. In fact I got his first true laugh this way a couple of weeks ago. Which brings me to my next point that he has been so vocal and smiley this month. He loves to talk and does a lot of it. His laughs come out mostly as little coughs or screeches. I love it all. I also love how much his sleep has improved. I transitioned him to napping in his bassinet in his room during the day, then to his crib during the day, and now he sleeps in his crib during the day and his bassinet in his room at night. He's fallen into a 3hr routine of eat, play, sleep pretty naturally with a little guidance from me. He started sleeping 3hrs at a time at night and had a couple 4 or 5 hr stretches here and there. Last week I officially declared he slept through the night when he slept from 11p to 5am! This month he also had a drs appt where he weighed in at just under 13lbs and is 24.5in tall. He's also gaining more and more muscle strength and control of his body - he may have rolled out of his inclined chair a time or two, he rolls onto his side a lot trying to get his hands in his mouth, and he has in general become a wiggle worm so he now definitely gets buckled into everything and we hold on extra tight to him. He's growing up so fast! I love him so much!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Babies
This week I have been inundated with babies. People having them, people being pregnant and just sharing the news - it's pure wonderful baby craziness and I thank God he has blessed me with Isaac otherwise I know this time would be a little hard as it was after losing Hailey and being around pregnant women and babies....
Yet this is hard in a new way I'm finding. It seems "everyone" in my life is getting pregnant or having their 2nd baby in this current season of my life. I suddenly find thoughts popping into my head like "oh how wonderful... I want a second baby too" and then I catch myself. I already had my second baby. Isaac is my second baby. I am actually ahead of my "crowd" with second babies.... But the only thing is I have one baby to show for it, as horrible as it sounds.
I always wanted two babies ... And I had two babies... Only I don't. Instead of growing up a little brother, Isaac will grow up an only child as it is right now. And so it's strange this new place I'm at... Frustrated and sad that Isaac's my second baby but feels like my first and is my first in so many ways... Sad that Hailey has no place in our current life or future with our family...
But I am also reminded that even though it may seem that "everyone" is pregnant again, "everyone" really isn't... Life is still fragile. Babies are still miracles. And I'm reminded of friends suffering through miscarriages and infertility right now. Getting pregnant, having a healthy baby, it's not as easy or as common as it may seem sometimes.
(And please no comments about us and our family's future in terms of children. First, we have not crossed that threshold yet nor are we in anyway prepared to go there. This is simply my reflection on my current situation. Second, having another child does not replace the point of this post which is about the void that is left after burying our first child - nothing replaces that child.)
Yet this is hard in a new way I'm finding. It seems "everyone" in my life is getting pregnant or having their 2nd baby in this current season of my life. I suddenly find thoughts popping into my head like "oh how wonderful... I want a second baby too" and then I catch myself. I already had my second baby. Isaac is my second baby. I am actually ahead of my "crowd" with second babies.... But the only thing is I have one baby to show for it, as horrible as it sounds.
I always wanted two babies ... And I had two babies... Only I don't. Instead of growing up a little brother, Isaac will grow up an only child as it is right now. And so it's strange this new place I'm at... Frustrated and sad that Isaac's my second baby but feels like my first and is my first in so many ways... Sad that Hailey has no place in our current life or future with our family...
But I am also reminded that even though it may seem that "everyone" is pregnant again, "everyone" really isn't... Life is still fragile. Babies are still miracles. And I'm reminded of friends suffering through miscarriages and infertility right now. Getting pregnant, having a healthy baby, it's not as easy or as common as it may seem sometimes.
(And please no comments about us and our family's future in terms of children. First, we have not crossed that threshold yet nor are we in anyway prepared to go there. This is simply my reflection on my current situation. Second, having another child does not replace the point of this post which is about the void that is left after burying our first child - nothing replaces that child.)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Isaac 2 Months (a little late)...
So I missed my post about Isaac at 2 months old... A couple of weeks late... But better late than never!
Isaac has grown into his 3 mo and 3-6 mo size clothes in fact right now he's wearing a 6 mo outfit and I had to retire the 3 mo outfit he had on last night. We held him up to his growth chart and it says he's 24 inches! He is growing so big so fast!
He's doing really well at holding his head up on his own. He's working on his tummy time but finds it very frustrating. We bought him a bumbo off craigslist and he's sat in it a few times.
Mostly he likes to coo and talk and smile and giggle. I love that we can smile at him and make him giggle. It's the best. He truly lives up to his name! He is a joy and is guaranteed to make me smile and laugh even when I'm frustrated. When he's not laughing and talking he's busy eating his hands and sucking his thumb. He's so cute.
He still struggles with sleep and being soothed once he gets fussy, but he's definitely a much happier baby now that we've figured out most of his food sensitivities. This past week he slept like a dream but not this weekend! But for the most part he's fallen into a 3 hr routine of eat, play, sleep.
This week he gave me a heart attack when he rolled himself off his little inclined chair and face planted onto our bed, but he didn't seem to mind at all. As he gains more awareness of his body, he rubs and scratches his face a ton when he's sleepy which of course just keeps him awake. He makes more and more eye contact and is definitely starting to follow us and recognize faces and gets a little scared or unsure about new faces.
That's about it for now! Need to wrap this up before the little monster wakes up!
Isaac has grown into his 3 mo and 3-6 mo size clothes in fact right now he's wearing a 6 mo outfit and I had to retire the 3 mo outfit he had on last night. We held him up to his growth chart and it says he's 24 inches! He is growing so big so fast!
He's doing really well at holding his head up on his own. He's working on his tummy time but finds it very frustrating. We bought him a bumbo off craigslist and he's sat in it a few times.
Mostly he likes to coo and talk and smile and giggle. I love that we can smile at him and make him giggle. It's the best. He truly lives up to his name! He is a joy and is guaranteed to make me smile and laugh even when I'm frustrated. When he's not laughing and talking he's busy eating his hands and sucking his thumb. He's so cute.
He still struggles with sleep and being soothed once he gets fussy, but he's definitely a much happier baby now that we've figured out most of his food sensitivities. This past week he slept like a dream but not this weekend! But for the most part he's fallen into a 3 hr routine of eat, play, sleep.
This week he gave me a heart attack when he rolled himself off his little inclined chair and face planted onto our bed, but he didn't seem to mind at all. As he gains more awareness of his body, he rubs and scratches his face a ton when he's sleepy which of course just keeps him awake. He makes more and more eye contact and is definitely starting to follow us and recognize faces and gets a little scared or unsure about new faces.
That's about it for now! Need to wrap this up before the little monster wakes up!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
My 2nd Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance
Today, October 15th, has been nationally recognized as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Last year was the first time I became aware of this day and participated in it in memory of Hailey. We had a wonderful time remembering her and celebrating our daughter as well as helping others remember their babies. You can read about it here (and I hope that you do!).
Today is my second time recognizing this day and remembering Hailey and the other babies I know who have left us too soon.
Unfortunately we were unable to find any events in our area to attend and with Isaac we were unable to arrange anything ourselves.
However, today we went on our own little family walk in some beautiful fall weather. We went to the Greenway, this beautiful walking path in our area, and Josh walked Opie and I pushed Isaac in the stroller (to start). We walked a little farther than Isaac could stand so he got a bit fussy; we ended the walk with me walking Opie and pushing the stroller and Josh carrying Isaac. :) I wore my t-shirt from last year's walk that we participated in.
And tonight in about 30 minutes we will participate in the event that takes place around the world at 7pm wherever you are known as the Wave of Light. At 7pm we will light a candle for Hailey. I will light the same one I bought last year just for this occasion. It has what has become my life verse on it which is because of my daughter. It's a reminder of her and of God and all that He's done and will do.
Of course if I ever take a true moment to be still and silent and remember my daughter, it's filled with emotions, the strange mixture of joy and sorrow. Today I haven't had a moment to myself to do that yet, but I've still thought of her a little extra today and feel full of God's peace. I think her "rainbow" brother is helping to further heal my heart in a unique way that I'll try to write about some day.
I've stolen a moment at the computer to write this blog while Hailey's brother naps on his napping daddy's chest. But I know this moment will be short and Isaac will awaken before I know it so I need to wrap this up.
Thank you to everyone who has remembered Hailey and isn't afraid to mention her name. Your support means the world and also helps soothe my broken heart.
Praying for peace for all the families out there remembering their babies. May you find hope and joy as you trust in God with what you're enduring. (Rm. 15:13)
Part of Me…
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown
Last year was the first time I became aware of this day and participated in it in memory of Hailey. We had a wonderful time remembering her and celebrating our daughter as well as helping others remember their babies. You can read about it here (and I hope that you do!).
Today is my second time recognizing this day and remembering Hailey and the other babies I know who have left us too soon.
Unfortunately we were unable to find any events in our area to attend and with Isaac we were unable to arrange anything ourselves.
However, today we went on our own little family walk in some beautiful fall weather. We went to the Greenway, this beautiful walking path in our area, and Josh walked Opie and I pushed Isaac in the stroller (to start). We walked a little farther than Isaac could stand so he got a bit fussy; we ended the walk with me walking Opie and pushing the stroller and Josh carrying Isaac. :) I wore my t-shirt from last year's walk that we participated in.
And tonight in about 30 minutes we will participate in the event that takes place around the world at 7pm wherever you are known as the Wave of Light. At 7pm we will light a candle for Hailey. I will light the same one I bought last year just for this occasion. It has what has become my life verse on it which is because of my daughter. It's a reminder of her and of God and all that He's done and will do.
Of course if I ever take a true moment to be still and silent and remember my daughter, it's filled with emotions, the strange mixture of joy and sorrow. Today I haven't had a moment to myself to do that yet, but I've still thought of her a little extra today and feel full of God's peace. I think her "rainbow" brother is helping to further heal my heart in a unique way that I'll try to write about some day.
I've stolen a moment at the computer to write this blog while Hailey's brother naps on his napping daddy's chest. But I know this moment will be short and Isaac will awaken before I know it so I need to wrap this up.
Thank you to everyone who has remembered Hailey and isn't afraid to mention her name. Your support means the world and also helps soothe my broken heart.
Praying for peace for all the families out there remembering their babies. May you find hope and joy as you trust in God with what you're enduring. (Rm. 15:13)
Part of Me…
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown
Love you baby girl! Jesus give her extra squeezes and snuggles and kisses from me today!
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