Learning: God's Best Pathway

For quite some time now, I've struggled in trying to discern God's doing (when events happen according to his plan and purpose) and God's allowing (when something happens not according to his plan, whether my selfish free will intervenes or Satan attacks). When is it his doing and when is it his allowing? Ultimately I know everything that happens in my life is filtered through his hands, but I want to know the origins. For some reason, a part of me feels like knowing that God is in control is not good enough; I need to get to the root of the cause. I need to know why. Sometimes it's easy to discern what God intends and what God allows, other times, not so much.

My struggle to understand where God is when "bad things happen" is one that has taken me captive, and I hadn't really realized it. For some reason I had no idea I was a captive since I knew God is always there and God is always good, even when "bad things happen." However, my recent attempts at wanting to understand the origins of multiple situations people would deem as "bad," really did begin to hold me captive, just like my fear.

What I've come to realize lately through a variety of means, which I believe God is using to help me solve this frail human dilemma of mine, is that it doesn't always matter that I know whether something happen because God created it as part of his plan or God allowed it... The point is, it happened, and it happened when God was in control, because he is ultimately in control always - whether he's creating or allowing.

This lesson has been quite freeing for me and can be attributed to the growing sense of peace that I have in my life once again.

Today I read something that reflects one way of saying the same thing that I've cringed at over the past year and a half or so:

The Bible promises that God’s plan is the best plan; the one for which we were created. Psalm 32:8 “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.”

Why do I cringe? Because these questions (amongst a few others) pop into my head when hear this: How is the death of my daughter at a month old the best plan for my life? What if (those dangerous two words), our son also has a genetic disorder? How are these things God's best plan for my life? And I'm sure many of you who have gone through your own hard times can insert your questions. How is cancer the best plan for my life? How is being raped the best plan for my life? How is my husband's affair the best plan for my life? How is {insert "bad" situation} God's best plan for my life?

Well I'm slowly starting to be given answers to those questions in my own life.

One, I'm taking God at his word and believing that he does have a beautiful plan for my life. Two, I'm realizing not everything that happens in my life (or in yours) is a part of God's beautiful plan or his doing (sin and our fallen world can and do intervene). But three, I'm learning whatever "bad" happened, whether it was a result of God's desires or from something not of him but that he allowed, that I shouldn't discount God having a good and beautiful plan. (This is the hard part I've been stuck at that I think gets most people stuck too).

The purpose... the plan... the pathway... when we choose to keep our faces on God, when we seek him, when we obey him, when we commit to him, is the best purpose, plan, or pathway (whatever you want to call it, I'm going to envision it as a pathway).

God's best pathway for our lives is not one that is perfect nor is it free of suffering (only in heaven can that be). But that sounds like an oxymoron to me, and I think that's why myself and so many struggle. How can God's best plan allow for suffering, hardships, times spent in dark places, pain, and so on - whether it was from him or allowed by him? When we ask questions like that, our focus is on the wrong part of the plan I think.

God's plan is more of one focused on us, on our hearts, our minds, on our inward circumstances so to speak - not necessarily on our outward circumstances. (Take a minute to think about that... Even after writing that I need to take a moment and let that sink in again).

When I am seeking God and having a close relationship with him and choosing to walk with him through my life, I can rest assured that I am on his best pathway for my life. This pathway may see more outward circumstances that might be defined by suffering, loss, pain, hardships, etc. (whether God intended them to be on this pathway or not). The truth is, they may be there and will be there in some form or another, but since I'm on God's pathway for my life... it's good...

It's good in that going through trials with him allows me to experience his awesome power and love in my life. When the trials come, and they have and they will, God gives me strength. He gives me peace. He gives me patience. He gives me hope. He gives me wisdom. He gives me his perspective. He gives me love. He allows me to use it to help others. And so on...

I can very well walk the same pathway filled with the same trials without God. The pathway may be the same in its outward circumstances... but it's not the same pathway God intended for my actual self. When I'm not with God on the pathway, the suffering that comes makes me suffer, fills me with pain, leaves me hopeless, fills me with fear, takes me captive, limits me, steals my joy, leaves me depressed, makes me bitter, fills me with anger, makes life and my 'pathway' absolutely miserable, and not the best pathway God intended for me.

See that's the best pathway God intends for all of us, one where he doesn't necessarily remove the storms in our lives, but where he helps us take on the storms by filling us with his blessings to not only make it through, but make it through as a better person, make it through the storm so we can make others on a similar journey better, and make it through to allow others to find the same awesome love and power that Christ offers each of us.

Can God's best pathway for my life involve the death of infant daughter due to a chromosomal disorder? Yes.

Can my life involving this loss leave me bitter and depressed? Yes.

Can God's best pathway for my life involving this loss leave me bitter and depressed? No.

Can my life being pregnant after loss leave me fearful? Yes.

Can God's best pathway for my life being pregnant after loss leave me fearful? No.

Do you see the difference? I am finally starting to.. and what a difference the difference is making!

Today's truth from my Girlfriends in God devotional is:

The LORD is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy” (Psalm 28:7).

I think this truth illustrates the point I'm learning and trying to make for you. The pathway of life we walk with the Lord involves "danger" (or suffering or hardship or storms). BUT, when we "trust in him with all [our] heart[s]" (when we trust him enough to walk the pathway with him), do you see what happens? We get his best plan! We get his strength, he acts as our shield, he helps us, and he fills us with JOY! That's God's best...

I mentioned that God was teaching me this lesson as I call it through a variety of ways (love when he does this; I may miss his point once, but he doesn't leave me hanging, he will tell it to me as many times as it takes to make me hear). Here are a few of the words that God used to speak these things to me this week:

• From today's Girlfriends in God by Mary Southerland:

The Bible promises that God’s plan is the best plan; the one for which we were created. Psalm 32:8 “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.” God agrees to not only show us the plan, He promises to provide all of the strength and resources needed to carry out that plan.  His sufficient and constant power is unleashed by our choice to accept and follow His blueprint for victorious living. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT). I know that there are days when the will of God seems completely wrong and we simply do not understand. Every moment is pregnant with darkness and our hearts are numb, paralyzed by fear and doubt. We are treading water in the storm tossed sea of life, desperately longing to see Him walking on the treacherous waves toward us, rescue in His hand. It is in those shadowed moments that we must choose to trust the Plan Maker even though our faith is small and we cannot understand the plan. His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And one day, every one of our question marks will be yanked into exclamation points as we see that high plan as He sees it – perfect. We were created by the One who knows us best and loves us most. There are no accidents with God. He never has to say, “Oops!” Before we were ever conceived in the heart and mind of man we were conceived in the heart and mind of God. Wanted, loved and planned since before the world began. He had a plan in mind and lovingly, purposefully created us in response to that plan.

• From Kristen Welch's blog, We Are THAT Family, "When God Doesn't Make Sense"

I knew I should be overwhelmed with thankfulness that I didn’t have this unexpected health crisis in a third-world country. I was, I am–thankful. But it’s all layered with a bunch of confusion and anger as to why it had to happen and the terrible timing. When my Pastor sat at the end of my bed, I asked him, chin trembling, faith-weakened. Is this satan attacking or is this God’s plan? He quoted, “The enemy can take no advantage but what the Lord permits him; and He will permit him none but what He designs to overrule for your greater advantage in the end.” – John Newton… His timing was perfect, Kristen.” Ultimately, the how and why still don’t make sense to me, but I trust Him. I don’t want my plan-it’s one-sided and error-filled. I want His plan, even if it’s hard. Because in the end, it’s better. When God doesn’t make sense, He is still God.

• From Believing God by Beth Moore, today's truth June 21st:

"In all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37. One way we can measure our belief system's effectiveness is to examine how consistently our biblical position as "more than conquerors" is fleshed out  in our reality... Victory assumes a counterpart defeat. We will never take our places as "more than conquerors" with nothing to overcome...

And I have to say, hearing this all from God, increases my peace once again. It gives me a giddy joy even... A joy that is indescribable to those who don't know Christ and haven't seen his power at work. Oh and can I also mention how AMAZING it is when God does reveal how he's can work all things together for good even through a "bad" circumstance (Romans 8:28). In the past week, I've received an email from a friend, an email from a stranger, and a Facebook message from a stranger in another country, all sharing in their own unique way and story of ultimately how my life and Hailey's has impacted their own. I'm being given glimpses of "good" that is because of the "bad" and that is ultimately happening I believe because I continually choose to walk the pathway God intended I walk.