There are mothers who have (living) children of their own.
There are mothers who are pregnant and expecting.
There are mothers who have children they've adopted as their own.
There are mothers who have lost babies and lost children.
There are even mothers whose children have four legs and a tail.
And then there are those who have mother's hearts and desire nothing more than to be a mother in the first sense of the word, but can't for one reason or another. But they may still be mothers... Perhaps they've given birth to an idea or a project. Perhaps they take on the role of mothering to their neighbor's children, to relative's children, to students, to the babies in a church nursery. I think they are still mothers.
How do you define a mother? I suppose most choose one of the first few 'types' of mothers when they think of their definition. For me, I'm working on how I define myself as a mother, an identity that in 2009 I felt was given and taken away from me.
As I mentioned in my last post, perhaps this Mother's Day is easier for me because this year I fall under the category of expectant mom with a round protruding belly that makes it easy for others to identify my as a mother (at the mall today I had 3 strangers say something in reference to me having a Happy Mother's Day tomorrow, all because they saw my belly. I'm not going to lie, that recognition felt wonderful). However, as I've also mentioned before, I don't want to be recognized just as an expectant mom who some might assume to be a first time mom since they see no other child with me...
In a sense, I'm two types of moms, and I'll always be. That first type that I am, the babylost mother, is the hard one to be recognized as and hard to live as. But even though I am not celebrating this Mother's Day with my 17 month old little girl named Hailey beside me, I am still her mother.
Today, I'm celebrating being a mother of two, of one who has passed who I'm waiting to be reunited with in heaven and of one who I'm carrying inside of me waiting to meet. Today, I'm embracing my identity and incredible journey as two types of mothers, a babylost mother and an expectant mother.
To my two babies, I thank God for you both every day and for the time he has given me with each of you. I marvel at you and am completely in love with you. I may not be the typical mother to either of you right now, but I'm proud to be your mother nonetheless. I love you both more than words can describe. Love you always and forever, Your Momma
I have to finish by sharing some beautiful words that I've read this weekend in hopes of encouraging you today wherever you are:
To all women today, "happy Mother's Day. You may or may not have children....may or may not be married....but you are a woman in whom God has placed a 'nurturing' gene that reaches out to comfort and encourage. So celebrate the fact that God made you a woman...and He is for you." Mary Southerland
"Motherhood is deep, complex and mysterious. Motherhood changes you — whether we have children to hold or mothers to embrace." Bonnie Gray
I also have to share this amazing article I read today called "How to Celebrate Grieving and Joy on Mother's Day" (can you tell why the article peaked my interest?) - It's a must read for everyone!
Happy Mother's Day! (especially to my own mom and mother-in-law) - Love you both!
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