As those who have lost loved ones know, this time of year can be especially hard. This is my second Christmas without Hailey and my dad, but my first with my baby boy. The week has been full of activities and visits with family and friends as well as with the regular busyness of taking care of a baby which are wonderful things but also make the emotions flowing through my heart this week difficult to process. I've fought to make this Christmas special and make beautiful memories with Isaac for his first Christmas while at the same time fighting to remember Hailey and make her a part of it all and feeling as though I've failed at both to some extent. Needless to say, my heart's been a mess this week and frustratingly so because I've also had to fight to remember the reason behind the season, and I've mostly lost that battle too. It's been difficult to take the time to focus on Christ's birth, on God humbly coming to earth as a baby so that he could live to die... to save me...
And then I read these words tonight and they touched a part of my heart that so needed it. Please read!
Because He Came
Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Birthday Jesus!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Coming home again...
It's been almost a year since we were last home... Since I last visited her resting place here on earth. While we are away living our lives, I often long to be back home so I can visit her. Most people don't understand this longing, and honestly I don't understand it myself most days.
I know without a shadow of a doubt t
I know without a shadow of a doubt t
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus
A friend who recently experienced her own loss, shared this poem with me the other day. Brought tears to my eyes. I love it so much I wanted to share it on here.
I see the countless Christmas trees.
Around the world below,
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars,
Reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.
For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear an angel sing.
I can’t tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?
I’ll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love;
So then pray for one another,
As you lift your eyes above.
Please let your heart be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I’m walking with the King!
I know how much you miss me;
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I’m not so far away,
We really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift
From my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory
Of my undying love.
After all “love” is the gift,
More precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other
As my Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings
Or the love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and
Wipe away that tear.
Remember I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year!
- Author Unknown
{Merry Christmas Hailey. Love you baby girl}.
I see the countless Christmas trees.
Around the world below,
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars,
Reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.
For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear an angel sing.
I can’t tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?
I’ll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love;
So then pray for one another,
As you lift your eyes above.
Please let your heart be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I’m walking with the King!
I know how much you miss me;
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I’m not so far away,
We really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift
From my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory
Of my undying love.
After all “love” is the gift,
More precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other
As my Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings
Or the love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and
Wipe away that tear.
Remember I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year!
- Author Unknown
{Merry Christmas Hailey. Love you baby girl}.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Isaac's 4 months old!
Today Isaac turns 4 months old. (Happy Birthday baby boy!) This past month has been my favorite and our best so far.
Isaac has been sleeping through the night like a champ! He usually goes to bed between 8 and 9pm and wakes up between 6 and 7:30am. He will sleep anywhere from 7-9.5 hours straight! After his long stretch he will wake up to eat an early morning snack and then drift back to sleep for an hour or two. He's still sleeping in his little bassinet at night. I attempted the crib one night, and he woke up every hour so I quit that night... We'll try again once we get back from our holiday travels.
He still is not a sleeper during the day. He keeps to sleeping 12 hrs total no matter what the order. His naps are anywhere from 25-55 minutes a piece. This month we began to process of quitting rocking him to sleep for naps, and he's doing ok with it. We're making progress and some days are fabulous, and some days are a bit harder. But all in all Isaac is doing well.
With each passing month and even day we see his personality coming out. He's becoming happier and happier, if that's possible! He's learning and growing so fast! I seriously delight in him sooooo much! He makes my day every day. :)
He is a very smiley baby. He loves watching people and smiling at them and batting his ridiculously long eyelashes. He soaks up the attention; I call him my little ham. He's also become quite the talkative baby making more and more sounds and discovering his voice and it's loudness more and more. I also call him my little squawker. He loves to squawk when he plays, and he loves cooing with his daddy.
He still has an obsession with putting his hands in mouth and chewing and sucking on them. (Well honestly he tries to put amy object within reach in his mouth and if he can't he gets frustrated but not every object is one he ends up wanting, just his hands most of the time). This month his hands finally discovered his feet, and they are by far his new favorite play thing! Getting him out of bed from naps I've discovered him sock less or with wet footies from him sucking on them at some point during nap time!
He also started reaching out more towards objects and grabbing them, which led to his discovery of his second favorite thing - Opie! He loves reaching out to grab Opies nose and lips and ears and eyes and anything his little hands can grab onto. They have great play times together.
Isaac is also discovering he can roll from side to side so he does that a lot when playing on his back and when he goes down for a nap. It's so cute to watch.
He's enjoying tummy time more and more and doing better at it although it's hard to keep him from attacking his hands with his mouth which results in him face planting. Lately we hold him on his belly and "fly" him around like superman which he likes.
All in all Isaac had a great 4th month! I seriously can't get enough of him and make sure he's covered in kisses over and over again each day which I'm sure he's going to hate within a few years... but his mommy can't help it...
Love you baby boy! You are my handsome little man and you truly are my joy and bring me so much laughter every day!
Isaac has been sleeping through the night like a champ! He usually goes to bed between 8 and 9pm and wakes up between 6 and 7:30am. He will sleep anywhere from 7-9.5 hours straight! After his long stretch he will wake up to eat an early morning snack and then drift back to sleep for an hour or two. He's still sleeping in his little bassinet at night. I attempted the crib one night, and he woke up every hour so I quit that night... We'll try again once we get back from our holiday travels.
He still is not a sleeper during the day. He keeps to sleeping 12 hrs total no matter what the order. His naps are anywhere from 25-55 minutes a piece. This month we began to process of quitting rocking him to sleep for naps, and he's doing ok with it. We're making progress and some days are fabulous, and some days are a bit harder. But all in all Isaac is doing well.
With each passing month and even day we see his personality coming out. He's becoming happier and happier, if that's possible! He's learning and growing so fast! I seriously delight in him sooooo much! He makes my day every day. :)
He is a very smiley baby. He loves watching people and smiling at them and batting his ridiculously long eyelashes. He soaks up the attention; I call him my little ham. He's also become quite the talkative baby making more and more sounds and discovering his voice and it's loudness more and more. I also call him my little squawker. He loves to squawk when he plays, and he loves cooing with his daddy.
He still has an obsession with putting his hands in mouth and chewing and sucking on them. (Well honestly he tries to put amy object within reach in his mouth and if he can't he gets frustrated but not every object is one he ends up wanting, just his hands most of the time). This month his hands finally discovered his feet, and they are by far his new favorite play thing! Getting him out of bed from naps I've discovered him sock less or with wet footies from him sucking on them at some point during nap time!
He also started reaching out more towards objects and grabbing them, which led to his discovery of his second favorite thing - Opie! He loves reaching out to grab Opies nose and lips and ears and eyes and anything his little hands can grab onto. They have great play times together.
Isaac is also discovering he can roll from side to side so he does that a lot when playing on his back and when he goes down for a nap. It's so cute to watch.
He's enjoying tummy time more and more and doing better at it although it's hard to keep him from attacking his hands with his mouth which results in him face planting. Lately we hold him on his belly and "fly" him around like superman which he likes.
All in all Isaac had a great 4th month! I seriously can't get enough of him and make sure he's covered in kisses over and over again each day which I'm sure he's going to hate within a few years... but his mommy can't help it...
Love you baby boy! You are my handsome little man and you truly are my joy and bring me so much laughter every day!
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