How to Make These Special Moms Feel Special on Mother's Day

While every mother deserves to be honored and celebrated on Mother's Day, there are two special groups of moms my heart goes out to every Mother's Day that I really want to raise awareness for this year. These are the moms who tend to be easily overlooked and often lack the love, attention, and support they deserve and need. They are: 1. NICU Moms, and 2. Moms who have experienced the death of a child. I have been both of these moms so I know from personal experience how difficult Mother's Day can be in light of these two situations.

1. The NICU Mom

This was me, thrust into motherhood as a NICU mom, on December 3, 2009. While I didn't spend my first Mother's Day as a NICU mom, I can promise you that no mom expects or wants to spend her Mother's Day in a hospital with her newborn baby. The NICU can be a hard place for a mom, and on Mother's Day, while I'm sure she is grateful she is a mom, she struggles with why her child is there, she struggles with being a NICU mom. Additionally, she's hidden away from the rest of society being cooped up in a hospital room that generally doesn't allow many visitors. The NICU mom can easily be or feel forgotten by everyone else. She can feel alone, and that makes life hard, and days like Mother's Day even harder. On Mother's Day is there anyone celebrating her? There should be. And there might be. But let's not wonder and instead make sure there are people celebrating her and supporting her. If you know of a mom who has a child in the hospital, not just a NICU mom, but any mom of any age child in the hospital, could you find away to celebrate her this year on Mother's Day?

Here are some ideas for how to celebrate and honor a NICU mom (even if you don't know one):

1. Give her a special gift. My non-profit division Hailey's Hope with Project Sweet Peas is donating these beautiful charm bracelets to 125 NICU moms this year. Enough for every single NICU mom in the two hospitals we serve!

But my division still needs close to 100 of the bracelets sponsored and there is still time to do so! You can give 4 NICU moms these beautiful bracelets with a $7 donation. Trust me, opening this unexpected gift from a stranger on Mother's Day will warm these NICU mommas' hearts. Let them feel thought of, cared about, special, and beautiful. If you'd like to make some NICU moms feel the love this Mother's Day, please visit www.projectsweetpeas.com for more information. Don't forget to select "Hailey's Hope" from the drop down menu when ordering.

2. Send a card, text, email, or make a phone call and simply wish her a Happy Mother's Day and let her know she's in your thoughts!

3. Don't ask her if she needs anything because most people won't really tell you what they need or they don't know. Look through the list of items we donate in our care packages and considering giving one of those items as a gift to her. Perhaps give her a gift card for a restaurant that's nearby to the hospital or even a gas card - there can be a lot of eating out and driving when your baby is in the NICU.

2. The Babyloss Mom

 

This is, in my opinion and experience, is the hardest type of mom to be, and she is the most forgotten mom on Mother's Day. I will never forget the Mother's Day after my daughter was born and died. It was hard. Me, the avid church goer, the girl whose faith is the most important thing in her life, avoided church like the plague that day. Church was last place I wanted to be.  I knew from prior years that the pastor always asked the moms in the church to stand and be recognized, and I couldn't bear to face that, and at that time I couldn't stand seeing all of the other moms glowing with smiles with their children hanging all over them. I couldn't be reminded of what I lost by having it flashing in front of my face. I wanted to hide from the pain. You can read my post about Mother's Day from that year here. I don't want any other mom who has lost a baby or child to have to feel this way. They deserve to be remembered especially on this day.

Once you have a child, you are a always a mother. Whether they are here or in heaven, you are a mother, and you deserve to be recognized and remembered and celebrated for that.But death is something that makes people uncomfortable, and in our discomfort we forget the needs of others. Is there a woman in your life who you know experienced a miscarriage, still birth, infant loss or the death of an older child? I challenge you to find a way to love on her this Mother's Day. And let me also add, it doesn't matter how many days, months, or years since the loss. Remember her.

Here are some ideas for how to celebrate and honor a mom who has lost a child:

1. Send her a card and find the perfect one - there are two shops in particular that I know write beautiful cards especially for moms and families who have suffered the loss of a child. Try Small Bird Studio's Shop on Etsy or the Lost for Words Card Line.

2. Send her flowers and let her know you're thinking of her and remembering her as a mom and perhaps more importantly to her, that she has a child.

3. Send a quick email or text (if you feel uncomfortable visiting or calling) simply letting her know you're thinking of her. Something as simple as, "Hi, I want to let you know I'm thinking of you today. You're a beautiful mother," could mean the world to her.

4. Give her the gift of keepsake jewelry. If other babyloss mommas are like me, we love having and wearing things that remind us of our children in heaven. Search Etsy shops for beautiful necklaces and charms and put her child's initials or name on it.

5. Read this article from the Trisomy 18 Foundation for more ideas. (Our daughter died from Trisomy 18, but this article can apply to any mother who has lost a child.)


Please consider sharing this to give others ideas for how they can show love to one of these special moms this Mother's Day (which is next Sunday by the way)!!