From Isaac's baby dedication, today on Mother's Day...
Dear Isaac,
I've been wanting to write this post to you since you were born, but I haven't had the time to devote to it that it deserves. Thankfully, your daddy and I were asked to write our "imagine the end" statements for your baby dedication and now I finally get to put into writing what's been on my heart.
This is where we tell you and the world who we hope you become, who we hope we raise you to be.
First and foremost, I hope you love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and strength. I pray you would seek him earnestly in all you do and trust him to guide your paths. I hope you learn to have a servant's heart, compassion, and love for others so that the world will see Christ in you and so you will fulfill your purpose by living a life that brings glory and honor to God.
I hope you grow up to be a man of integrity, who is honest and responsible; someone who shows respect and earns respect. I hope you become confident and secure in who you are, but not prideful. I hope you are a man of humility and gentleness, but who also has the strength and qualities of a leader. I pray you discover and use the talents God has blessed you with, that you have a strong work ethic, and motivation in all you do.
Most of all, I hope that you will have a joyful spirit and your name's background and meaning remind you of that always. Live with joy and find the joy and hidden joy that is found in Christ alone even during trials. Enjoy life, laugh a lot, find God's blessings in every day. Be courageous, go on adventures, go where Christ leads.
Most of all, at the end of your life may you be able to say you were loved and you loved others but most of all it's my prayer that God will say to you, "Well done my good and faithful servant."
I love you more than words could ever express. I am so proud and blessed to be your momma.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Isaac, 9 Months
Today Isaac is 9 months old! Happy birthday son! These months are starting to feel like they're flying by but I am doing my best to soak up all the moments we have together. Like all of the prior months, this post will be an overview of Isaac's 8th month.
Growth:
Again, not much growth to report. He was almost to the 17lb mark a couple of weeks ago. He's staying our skinny minny man. Hair growth on the other hand is getting a little out of control. It's now getting into his eyes and tickling his ears as it grows over them. I'm not having to sweep his hair off to the side so it looks like he has a comb over. (He'll be getting his first hair cut next weekend when Grandma Cetty comes to visit.)
Milestones/ Skills mastered:
He's a crawler! This month it became official. He crawls everywhere now and is quite the explorer. He isn't off his belly completely, more of a stomach scooter but boy does he move fast! It's been so fun to watch him at this stage. It's cute to watch his thought process as he decides where he wants to crawl next, what object he's determined to get to, etc.
Of course with his new sense of adventure comes a love of danger, which means keeping a close eye on him every second and baby proofing everything. He will try to get to everything and anything he can to figure out what it is. He loves doorstops, rugs, cords, knobs, vents, and more - some days it seems like he plays with everything but his toys! So far he hasn't actually done anything dangerous or gotten into any trouble. I've caught him with bugs and dog food in his hands but from what I can tell I've stopped all attempts to eat anything... oh other than grass, he did swallow some grass the other day....
He's cutting his 5th tooth as of a few days ago!
This month he's eating three "meals" of solids a day and is eating a little more in quantity at each meal. He's still breastfed, but as of today actually I am going to slowly begin to wean. A recent accomplishment of his has been mastering the sippy cup. After a break from trying it for a month or so, I decided to have him try it the other day and he's drinking like a pro from it, although there are still times when all he wants to do is chew it.
He's clearly a pro at sitting now so he sits in shopping cart seats and high chairs when we go out now. Sometimes when grocery stopping he'll still prefer to recline and relax in his carseat, which is fine with me.
Practicing:
He's wanting to be held standing a lot. He's pulled himself from sitting to standing once when in his crib, but he tries to do it every now and then with various objects but with no success. He still can't get to a seated position by himself either; I haven't really seen him have an interest or try to do this yet. It's easy for him to go from sitting to crawling with no trouble, just can't go from belly to sitting.
Schedule:
Isaac decided to change things up a bit this month. We went through a very rough week which was a combination of illness and schedule changing which was also right before his developmental change before he started crawling. So the easy explanation is he has dropped his last catnap for the most part and now takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap. On good days he will sleep between 1-2 hrs for both naps, which have been utter miracles for me to experience since he has never been a napper. On the rare occasion his naps don't work out with the timing quite right he might do a little itty bitty catnap around 5-6pm to make it through bedtime. But for the most part he's awake between 6am-7am and will go down for his morning nap around 9am (depending on what time he woke up). For his morning awake him I'm getting ready, he's outgrown his little recliner he used to sit in so he now sits in his swing chair while I shower and then crawls around our bedroom while I finish getting ready. Then we have a little routine of watering our flowers, feeding the birds, and playing. He's awake after his morning nap between 10-11am and will be up until 1-2pm. If all works well he's up between 3-4pm and we're doing our bedtime routine at the same time and he's asleep by 8pm. For the most part he's sleeping straight through from 8pm to 6am-ish or on the rare occasion he's waking once to nurse in the middle of the night.
Favorite activities/toys:
New activities/ First experiences: We got to go strawberry picking as a family. He was given a balloon at a store and then another balloon at the strawberry festival. At the farm for the festival he saw goats and baby cows. He loves being pulled around in his red Radio Flyer wagon, loves his baby pool which we just tried his past weekend. Likes when I try to play patty cake with him.
New toys: He loves chasing balls around. His Grandma Sue bought him a little plastic turtle you put shapes through - he loves this and chewing on the shapes.
He's still getting frustrated with toys if they don't do what they want and he's very good at disassembling toys and objects.
He still likes his: Car/steering wheel toy, v-tech sit/stand/walk toy, toy construction set, Praise Baby DVDs, going for rides in his stroller
Doesn't really like his: jumperoo anymore, other than crawling under it..
Favorite part of this month:
I still love any cuddle time I get with him. But my favorite aspect of this month has been watching him discover the world around him as he crawls and explores and tries to figure out what everythings is. I have to say this month has also been a nice break for my back since he's found his independence and more times than not he's wanting to crawl or sit instead of be held... But don't be fooled, his favorite place most of the time is still in mommy's arms...
Oh and another little piece to share, which I think he actually began last month, but when he explores by touch he keeps his index and middle fingers together (the pair he also sucks on still) and touches with them together. We joke around and call them his pinchers, or alien fingers, or claws, it's a cute little quirk he has. It's also funny when he uses them to explore our faces. This month he has really been into my eye lashes and trying to shove his fingers in my mouth to get to my tongue. What a weirdo... j/k
My thoughts:
This month he barely feels like my baby anymore. He's my little boy. Sitting, crawling, before I know it he'll be standing and then walking! He's so much fun. He certainly has gained his sense of independence this month and is starting to demonstrate his free will which isn't always what my will for him is to do, which is a little frustrating, but is just the beginning I know. I enjoy playing with him and enjoy everything that is coming along with him crawling and his curiosity for the world around him. As fun and as exciting life is getting as he changes and learns new things every day, this month it's starting to kick in (with the exercising free will thing and all) that I'm going to have to start parenting him in new ways, "discipline" will be starting soon, instilling Biblical values in him will begin, parenting with a purpose will be begin. It's funny the other day I was saying things like, "No bite. Off. No. Don't chew that." And it was funny because I wasn't saying them to Opie, I was saying them to Isaac, and I do normally say those things to Opie - have to remember Isaac's a baby and not a puppy or maybe it's just that I've raised Opie like my baby... Anyway... I'm starting to pray for God to give me wisdom as I parent in new ways and I am continuing to praise Him for the daily blessing that Isaac is to me.
Growth:
Again, not much growth to report. He was almost to the 17lb mark a couple of weeks ago. He's staying our skinny minny man. Hair growth on the other hand is getting a little out of control. It's now getting into his eyes and tickling his ears as it grows over them. I'm not having to sweep his hair off to the side so it looks like he has a comb over. (He'll be getting his first hair cut next weekend when Grandma Cetty comes to visit.)
Milestones/ Skills mastered:
He's a crawler! This month it became official. He crawls everywhere now and is quite the explorer. He isn't off his belly completely, more of a stomach scooter but boy does he move fast! It's been so fun to watch him at this stage. It's cute to watch his thought process as he decides where he wants to crawl next, what object he's determined to get to, etc.
Of course with his new sense of adventure comes a love of danger, which means keeping a close eye on him every second and baby proofing everything. He will try to get to everything and anything he can to figure out what it is. He loves doorstops, rugs, cords, knobs, vents, and more - some days it seems like he plays with everything but his toys! So far he hasn't actually done anything dangerous or gotten into any trouble. I've caught him with bugs and dog food in his hands but from what I can tell I've stopped all attempts to eat anything... oh other than grass, he did swallow some grass the other day....
He's cutting his 5th tooth as of a few days ago!
This month he's eating three "meals" of solids a day and is eating a little more in quantity at each meal. He's still breastfed, but as of today actually I am going to slowly begin to wean. A recent accomplishment of his has been mastering the sippy cup. After a break from trying it for a month or so, I decided to have him try it the other day and he's drinking like a pro from it, although there are still times when all he wants to do is chew it.
He's clearly a pro at sitting now so he sits in shopping cart seats and high chairs when we go out now. Sometimes when grocery stopping he'll still prefer to recline and relax in his carseat, which is fine with me.
Practicing:
He's wanting to be held standing a lot. He's pulled himself from sitting to standing once when in his crib, but he tries to do it every now and then with various objects but with no success. He still can't get to a seated position by himself either; I haven't really seen him have an interest or try to do this yet. It's easy for him to go from sitting to crawling with no trouble, just can't go from belly to sitting.
Schedule:
Isaac decided to change things up a bit this month. We went through a very rough week which was a combination of illness and schedule changing which was also right before his developmental change before he started crawling. So the easy explanation is he has dropped his last catnap for the most part and now takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap. On good days he will sleep between 1-2 hrs for both naps, which have been utter miracles for me to experience since he has never been a napper. On the rare occasion his naps don't work out with the timing quite right he might do a little itty bitty catnap around 5-6pm to make it through bedtime. But for the most part he's awake between 6am-7am and will go down for his morning nap around 9am (depending on what time he woke up). For his morning awake him I'm getting ready, he's outgrown his little recliner he used to sit in so he now sits in his swing chair while I shower and then crawls around our bedroom while I finish getting ready. Then we have a little routine of watering our flowers, feeding the birds, and playing. He's awake after his morning nap between 10-11am and will be up until 1-2pm. If all works well he's up between 3-4pm and we're doing our bedtime routine at the same time and he's asleep by 8pm. For the most part he's sleeping straight through from 8pm to 6am-ish or on the rare occasion he's waking once to nurse in the middle of the night.
Favorite activities/toys:
New activities/ First experiences: We got to go strawberry picking as a family. He was given a balloon at a store and then another balloon at the strawberry festival. At the farm for the festival he saw goats and baby cows. He loves being pulled around in his red Radio Flyer wagon, loves his baby pool which we just tried his past weekend. Likes when I try to play patty cake with him.
New toys: He loves chasing balls around. His Grandma Sue bought him a little plastic turtle you put shapes through - he loves this and chewing on the shapes.
He's still getting frustrated with toys if they don't do what they want and he's very good at disassembling toys and objects.
He still likes his: Car/steering wheel toy, v-tech sit/stand/walk toy, toy construction set, Praise Baby DVDs, going for rides in his stroller
Doesn't really like his: jumperoo anymore, other than crawling under it..
Favorite part of this month:
I still love any cuddle time I get with him. But my favorite aspect of this month has been watching him discover the world around him as he crawls and explores and tries to figure out what everythings is. I have to say this month has also been a nice break for my back since he's found his independence and more times than not he's wanting to crawl or sit instead of be held... But don't be fooled, his favorite place most of the time is still in mommy's arms...
Oh and another little piece to share, which I think he actually began last month, but when he explores by touch he keeps his index and middle fingers together (the pair he also sucks on still) and touches with them together. We joke around and call them his pinchers, or alien fingers, or claws, it's a cute little quirk he has. It's also funny when he uses them to explore our faces. This month he has really been into my eye lashes and trying to shove his fingers in my mouth to get to my tongue. What a weirdo... j/k
My thoughts:
This month he barely feels like my baby anymore. He's my little boy. Sitting, crawling, before I know it he'll be standing and then walking! He's so much fun. He certainly has gained his sense of independence this month and is starting to demonstrate his free will which isn't always what my will for him is to do, which is a little frustrating, but is just the beginning I know. I enjoy playing with him and enjoy everything that is coming along with him crawling and his curiosity for the world around him. As fun and as exciting life is getting as he changes and learns new things every day, this month it's starting to kick in (with the exercising free will thing and all) that I'm going to have to start parenting him in new ways, "discipline" will be starting soon, instilling Biblical values in him will begin, parenting with a purpose will be begin. It's funny the other day I was saying things like, "No bite. Off. No. Don't chew that." And it was funny because I wasn't saying them to Opie, I was saying them to Isaac, and I do normally say those things to Opie - have to remember Isaac's a baby and not a puppy or maybe it's just that I've raised Opie like my baby... Anyway... I'm starting to pray for God to give me wisdom as I parent in new ways and I am continuing to praise Him for the daily blessing that Isaac is to me.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
She made me a better mom
Haven't written in awhile... Again just haven't found the time with the little man and other responsibilities keeping me busy. But somehow I have found 30 min to myself tonight while everyone in my house is passed out sleeping. I'm writing on my iPhone so please pardon the typos and grammatical errors ...
Hailey has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm kind of glad. I hate when I go through stages where it feels that life has forgotten all about her.
Hailey has been on my mind more lately because of Isaac. I'm starting to realize how much Hailey has impacted who I am as a mom and how that is in turn going to impact Isaac.
You see I suffer from separation anxiety with Isaac, more than normal I suppose. We are apart a few times a week and he does spend time in a nursery once or twice a week. We use babysitters when needed. I can do it, but I hate it. It's very difficult for me. I know he needs it, and I need it, and he is fine because I make sure he is left in loving hands as much as possible. But still, I would prefer to never leave him if I had my way. I tend to only trust myself and would prefer to be the only one caring for him most times because I don't think anyone will care for him out of love like I do. He deserves love and attention in my mind. And It's not just the separation issue. Well maybe it is... Giving birth naturally to him, having that precious skin to skin bonding time that just lingered with no rush following his birth, breastfeeding him for 9 months almost, being able to stay at home with him.... I'm so attached and bonded. I struggled and still do sometimes with other things like people giving him a bottle. I treasure my nursing him to bed time and have yet to leave him with someone other than his dad or grandma to give him his bath and put him to bed. I still nurse him if he wakes up in the middle of the night not just because I think he's hungry but more so now because I don't mind it. I treasure the shared intimate moment with him.
I'm also a little overprotective and over cautious with things. Like his food which I know I need to be considering his intolerances to my milk and likelihood he has food allergies as he starts to eat more food...
All of this rambling to say ... I know everyone under the sun has an opinion about everything regarding caring for a baby and I've felt pressure from various sources that how I mother / parent is wrong, etc. and I just need to say, I'm not wrong. I am mothering how I want to. Sure I do things wrong and make mistakes and learn from them like any other parent, that's not what I'm talking about...
I parent the way I do because of Hailey. Because I already had and lost one child. Because it has made me love Isaac in a way I couldn't have loved him without losing her. I treasure moments, I love him intensely, I shower affection on him, I soothe him when he cries (another thing people might say something against.)
I love him differently than I love Hailey. And if Hailey were alive I wouldn't love them the same as i love isaac now. I wouldn't love as much. I wouldn't treasure things as I do now. And more...
I wonder if other parents who have had to bury their first baby and go on to have a healthy one parent differently because of that.... I would think they'd have to.
I am the way I am because of Hailey. Whether its good or bad or a mixture of both I will figure out as I go. But for now let me be attached to my baby, let me love him and hold onto him extra tight for now. If you lost a child then maybe you'd have some sympathy or empathy and not be so quick to judge. And don't worry, I will and am having to start disciplining as needed because there is love in that... As far as everything else - let me love on my boy, let me spoil him in love, let me make him happy (and no that doesn't mean giving him everything he wants)... I can still say no. I did quite a few times today. ;)
My only struggle i confess to right now is to love Isaac as I do but not make him an idol in my life.
But really, in a way, to wrap up this late night rambling, this is one of those good things I believe has come from Hailey's life and death, she has made me a better mother, not perfect by any means, but better than I would have been without going through what I have.
Hailey has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm kind of glad. I hate when I go through stages where it feels that life has forgotten all about her.
Hailey has been on my mind more lately because of Isaac. I'm starting to realize how much Hailey has impacted who I am as a mom and how that is in turn going to impact Isaac.
You see I suffer from separation anxiety with Isaac, more than normal I suppose. We are apart a few times a week and he does spend time in a nursery once or twice a week. We use babysitters when needed. I can do it, but I hate it. It's very difficult for me. I know he needs it, and I need it, and he is fine because I make sure he is left in loving hands as much as possible. But still, I would prefer to never leave him if I had my way. I tend to only trust myself and would prefer to be the only one caring for him most times because I don't think anyone will care for him out of love like I do. He deserves love and attention in my mind. And It's not just the separation issue. Well maybe it is... Giving birth naturally to him, having that precious skin to skin bonding time that just lingered with no rush following his birth, breastfeeding him for 9 months almost, being able to stay at home with him.... I'm so attached and bonded. I struggled and still do sometimes with other things like people giving him a bottle. I treasure my nursing him to bed time and have yet to leave him with someone other than his dad or grandma to give him his bath and put him to bed. I still nurse him if he wakes up in the middle of the night not just because I think he's hungry but more so now because I don't mind it. I treasure the shared intimate moment with him.
I'm also a little overprotective and over cautious with things. Like his food which I know I need to be considering his intolerances to my milk and likelihood he has food allergies as he starts to eat more food...
All of this rambling to say ... I know everyone under the sun has an opinion about everything regarding caring for a baby and I've felt pressure from various sources that how I mother / parent is wrong, etc. and I just need to say, I'm not wrong. I am mothering how I want to. Sure I do things wrong and make mistakes and learn from them like any other parent, that's not what I'm talking about...
I parent the way I do because of Hailey. Because I already had and lost one child. Because it has made me love Isaac in a way I couldn't have loved him without losing her. I treasure moments, I love him intensely, I shower affection on him, I soothe him when he cries (another thing people might say something against.)
I love him differently than I love Hailey. And if Hailey were alive I wouldn't love them the same as i love isaac now. I wouldn't love as much. I wouldn't treasure things as I do now. And more...
I wonder if other parents who have had to bury their first baby and go on to have a healthy one parent differently because of that.... I would think they'd have to.
I am the way I am because of Hailey. Whether its good or bad or a mixture of both I will figure out as I go. But for now let me be attached to my baby, let me love him and hold onto him extra tight for now. If you lost a child then maybe you'd have some sympathy or empathy and not be so quick to judge. And don't worry, I will and am having to start disciplining as needed because there is love in that... As far as everything else - let me love on my boy, let me spoil him in love, let me make him happy (and no that doesn't mean giving him everything he wants)... I can still say no. I did quite a few times today. ;)
My only struggle i confess to right now is to love Isaac as I do but not make him an idol in my life.
But really, in a way, to wrap up this late night rambling, this is one of those good things I believe has come from Hailey's life and death, she has made me a better mother, not perfect by any means, but better than I would have been without going through what I have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)