Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
A quick happy to share
My friend and I used to call anything that happened to us that made us happy a happy or happies - we changed the adjective into a noun.
So today, just a quick happy to share...
On Hailey's 4 month birthday, I received the best, unexpected present in the mail.
New pictures of Hailey that I had never seen before! I don't think there is anything better. When you lose a child, the pictures you have are the pictures you have. There will never be anymore. I remember feeling sad the day I uploaded the last images I had of Hailey to my 3rd facebook album containing her pictures.
But then, when we came back from her memorial service and our stay back home, I had our pictures from Now I Lay Me Down to sleep. New pictures when I thought there would be no more. Another gift with perfect timing.
And then almost 3 months since Hailey passed, I really thought I would never see or have any new pictures of her.
But I was wrong! My mom had taken pictures (on her ancient 35mm camera) of Hailey and us during her stay here right before Hailey passed away, and she just managed to send them to me now. I thought perhaps it would have been late timing, but God made it just right.
What a perfect present for me on Hailey's birthday. Again, new pictures when I thought there would be no more.
It's like seeing her again for the first time. Remembering more memories of her. They bring me back to her again. Seeing those new photos bring a new excitement and a new joy.
Definitely a happy. :)
So today, just a quick happy to share...
On Hailey's 4 month birthday, I received the best, unexpected present in the mail.
New pictures of Hailey that I had never seen before! I don't think there is anything better. When you lose a child, the pictures you have are the pictures you have. There will never be anymore. I remember feeling sad the day I uploaded the last images I had of Hailey to my 3rd facebook album containing her pictures.
But then, when we came back from her memorial service and our stay back home, I had our pictures from Now I Lay Me Down to sleep. New pictures when I thought there would be no more. Another gift with perfect timing.
And then almost 3 months since Hailey passed, I really thought I would never see or have any new pictures of her.
But I was wrong! My mom had taken pictures (on her ancient 35mm camera) of Hailey and us during her stay here right before Hailey passed away, and she just managed to send them to me now. I thought perhaps it would have been late timing, but God made it just right.
What a perfect present for me on Hailey's birthday. Again, new pictures when I thought there would be no more.
It's like seeing her again for the first time. Remembering more memories of her. They bring me back to her again. Seeing those new photos bring a new excitement and a new joy.
Definitely a happy. :)
Friday, April 2, 2010
Remembering the ulimate loss and sacrifice today
Today is another day of remembrance for me, and many other Christians around the world. Today is Good Friday. Today I remember the death of my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Can you imagine someone choosing to die for you? Imagine that you deserve to suffer and die. And then someone who loves you, someone who is blameless and doesn't deserve it, takes your place. They choose to suffer and die in your place. Really, have you ever truly considered that? Can you imagine someone loving you that much that they want to save you from punishment and take it on themselves? ... wow... I'm not sure there's anything more powerful - especially in this world.
And that's what Jesus Christ did for me, for you, on the cross two thousand and some years ago - because of love.... you know the verse: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
I came across this image in a blog I follow the other day. At first I was a little disturbed by it. You may be too. It's an interesting take on the meaning of the crucifixion. It's gruesome. It's hard to look at.
But think of what it represents. You can't deny that it's powerful.
To go along with the image, the blogger included lyrics from the song How deep the Father's love for us... "It was my sin that held Him there..."
Is it all depressing? Maybe if you don't understand what his choice of death meant, maybe if you don't know or believe the end of the story. For me, it's not depressing because it's not the end. The story of Jesus' death does not end with death, which is why I have the hope and joy and peace and so on that I do. And that is why Hailey's story doesn't end with her death either....
On the third day, Jesus rose again. On Sunday, I will celebrate His resurrection and the day He conquered death so I can have live and have hope in Him... so that I can be with Hailey again...
Today my heart cries out this song in worship of Jesus taking my place on the cross, dying for my sins, when I deserved death and he didn't. I live for Him because He died for me!
Jesus, Today I remember you and your work on the cross for ME. Thank you for my husband and using him to bring me back to you. Thank you for dying for me and saving me from death and eternal separation from the Father. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins. Thank you for loving me when I don't deserve it. What you did for me on the cross is hard to understand, but it brings me to my knees and I weep in gratitude that you love me that much. So Jesus, my Savior, my Comforter, my All-in All, today I come, help quiet my soul and my busy mind, as I remember redemption's hill where Your blood was spilled for my ransom. You were tempted and trialed. You bore my sin and my death. Lead me to the cross where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees. Lord I lay me down. Help me rid me of myself for I belong to You. Lead me to the cross. Lead me to your heart. In Your glorious name I pray, Amen!
What does the Bible say? Read Isaiah 53:4-6, Romans 5:8, 1Peter 3:18
Can you imagine someone choosing to die for you? Imagine that you deserve to suffer and die. And then someone who loves you, someone who is blameless and doesn't deserve it, takes your place. They choose to suffer and die in your place. Really, have you ever truly considered that? Can you imagine someone loving you that much that they want to save you from punishment and take it on themselves? ... wow... I'm not sure there's anything more powerful - especially in this world.
And that's what Jesus Christ did for me, for you, on the cross two thousand and some years ago - because of love.... you know the verse: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
I came across this image in a blog I follow the other day. At first I was a little disturbed by it. You may be too. It's an interesting take on the meaning of the crucifixion. It's gruesome. It's hard to look at.
But think of what it represents. You can't deny that it's powerful.To go along with the image, the blogger included lyrics from the song How deep the Father's love for us... "It was my sin that held Him there..."
Is it all depressing? Maybe if you don't understand what his choice of death meant, maybe if you don't know or believe the end of the story. For me, it's not depressing because it's not the end. The story of Jesus' death does not end with death, which is why I have the hope and joy and peace and so on that I do. And that is why Hailey's story doesn't end with her death either....
On the third day, Jesus rose again. On Sunday, I will celebrate His resurrection and the day He conquered death so I can have live and have hope in Him... so that I can be with Hailey again...
Today my heart cries out this song in worship of Jesus taking my place on the cross, dying for my sins, when I deserved death and he didn't. I live for Him because He died for me!
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
Jesus, Today I remember you and your work on the cross for ME. Thank you for my husband and using him to bring me back to you. Thank you for dying for me and saving me from death and eternal separation from the Father. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins. Thank you for loving me when I don't deserve it. What you did for me on the cross is hard to understand, but it brings me to my knees and I weep in gratitude that you love me that much. So Jesus, my Savior, my Comforter, my All-in All, today I come, help quiet my soul and my busy mind, as I remember redemption's hill where Your blood was spilled for my ransom. You were tempted and trialed. You bore my sin and my death. Lead me to the cross where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees. Lord I lay me down. Help me rid me of myself for I belong to You. Lead me to the cross. Lead me to your heart. In Your glorious name I pray, Amen!
What does the Bible say? Read Isaiah 53:4-6, Romans 5:8, 1Peter 3:18
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Hailey's 4 Month Birthday, Let the Light Shine
Today, April 1, 2010 is not remembered for being April Fool's Day. To me, April 1st is the day that would have been Hailey's 4 month birthday. I really can't believe she would have been that old!
As I mentioned in last month's post. Today I am choosing not to be full of sadness that Hailey is not here to celebrate being 4 months old. Instead, I am choosing to celebrate her life. From the moment God started knitting her together in my womb (which was a little over a year ago) to the moment I last held her and kissed her goodnight. She was with me for 9 months (in my belly) and 36 days (in my arms). Today I thank God for her life. Her short but amazing life. I know that I say that a lot, but I can't say it enough.
Who would have thought such a tiny 5lb fragile baby girl who only lived a little over a month on this earth could have made such an impact - on my life, mine and my husband's lives, and the lives of some of my family and friends...
So as I remember and celebrate Hailey's life, I have a candle lit in her honor. The candle is meaningful to me and took me sometime to find. As I shopped for just the right candle, I had many options to choose from. The reason I chose this one (for now at least :)) is because of the verse on it. That is my prayer for myself and Josh today on Hailey's would have been birthday. Today has great potential to be a difficult and dark day. So not only do I want to remember Hailey with joy and happiness, I want to remember to trust in God. On these days, I am praying that God fills Josh and I with joy and peace as we remember Hailey and trust completely in him. Would you pray that prayer for us too?
As I wrote on Hailey's 3 month birthday, the light of the candle is symbolic and meaningful to me for many reasons. It represents how her life still shines in my life even though she is not here with me. It reminds me that her life shines of God's love, whether you believe it or not, it does. And of course, it symbolizes my choice to live my life in God's light and to be His light before men. Not to mention, the significance behind light's ability to chase away the darkness...
Here are some of the verses on light behind why I am choosing to light a candle on Hailey's birthdays from now on:
"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from allsin." 1 John 1:5-7
In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." John 1:4-9
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To my munchkin at home with God, Hailey, you were a light in my life and will always be a source of light that brings joy and happiness and love to my heart. I am so thankful God blessed us with you. Even though you aren't here to celebrate your 4 month birthday with us, know that we're thinking of you and loving you with all of our hearts. We're sending our hugs and kisses to you today (and always). I'm praying God shows you something new and spectacular today as I'm sure he does everyday. I had a daydream today that Jesus had you in his hands and was holding you down so you could reach me. You were smiling with your chubby little cheeks and your eyes were shimmering with happiness and love. You didn't have to say it but I know you were thinking 'Hi, Mommy! It's so good to see you and see you happy. I love you so much!" and then you gave me a kiss and then I kissed your cheeks and breathed in that beautiful floral baby smell of yours. And then Jesus brought you back close to him and you both smiled and waved goodbye to me. God gave me a glimpse of Heaven with you and I loved it. Love you always, Mom (and Dad, and Opie of course).
As I mentioned in last month's post. Today I am choosing not to be full of sadness that Hailey is not here to celebrate being 4 months old. Instead, I am choosing to celebrate her life. From the moment God started knitting her together in my womb (which was a little over a year ago) to the moment I last held her and kissed her goodnight. She was with me for 9 months (in my belly) and 36 days (in my arms). Today I thank God for her life. Her short but amazing life. I know that I say that a lot, but I can't say it enough.
Who would have thought such a tiny 5lb fragile baby girl who only lived a little over a month on this earth could have made such an impact - on my life, mine and my husband's lives, and the lives of some of my family and friends...
Of course I miss her today, I do everyday. But the joy and love I have in remembering her and remembering the times we shared together as mother and daughter fills any empty place in my heart today. What an amazing feeling of being a parent. I love it and thank God for it. Today I focus on the gifts God has given me which include the list above, which includes the short life of my daughter.
So as I remember and celebrate Hailey's life, I have a candle lit in her honor. The candle is meaningful to me and took me sometime to find. As I shopped for just the right candle, I had many options to choose from. The reason I chose this one (for now at least :)) is because of the verse on it. That is my prayer for myself and Josh today on Hailey's would have been birthday. Today has great potential to be a difficult and dark day. So not only do I want to remember Hailey with joy and happiness, I want to remember to trust in God. On these days, I am praying that God fills Josh and I with joy and peace as we remember Hailey and trust completely in him. Would you pray that prayer for us too?As I wrote on Hailey's 3 month birthday, the light of the candle is symbolic and meaningful to me for many reasons. It represents how her life still shines in my life even though she is not here with me. It reminds me that her life shines of God's love, whether you believe it or not, it does. And of course, it symbolizes my choice to live my life in God's light and to be His light before men. Not to mention, the significance behind light's ability to chase away the darkness...
Here are some of the verses on light behind why I am choosing to light a candle on Hailey's birthdays from now on:
"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from allsin." 1 John 1:5-7
In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." John 1:4-9
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To my munchkin at home with God, Hailey, you were a light in my life and will always be a source of light that brings joy and happiness and love to my heart. I am so thankful God blessed us with you. Even though you aren't here to celebrate your 4 month birthday with us, know that we're thinking of you and loving you with all of our hearts. We're sending our hugs and kisses to you today (and always). I'm praying God shows you something new and spectacular today as I'm sure he does everyday. I had a daydream today that Jesus had you in his hands and was holding you down so you could reach me. You were smiling with your chubby little cheeks and your eyes were shimmering with happiness and love. You didn't have to say it but I know you were thinking 'Hi, Mommy! It's so good to see you and see you happy. I love you so much!" and then you gave me a kiss and then I kissed your cheeks and breathed in that beautiful floral baby smell of yours. And then Jesus brought you back close to him and you both smiled and waved goodbye to me. God gave me a glimpse of Heaven with you and I loved it. Love you always, Mom (and Dad, and Opie of course).
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